The Door to Tomorrow

Secrets

I opened my eyes, thinking I was still awake at first. This time I was standing in a spacious grassy field on what appeared to be a sunny afternoon. As I felt the balmy spring breeze on my skin, I tried to convince myself that I hadn't just ended someone's life out of hatred. I took a deep breath and shouted Joseph's name as loud as I could. He was nowhere to be found, though.

I took a few steps forward and observed the wildflowers on the ground. Then, out of nowhere, I heard the wind carrying some disembodied voices. They seemed to be having a conversation.

"Hey, you. Wake up," said an upbeat adult male voice. I instantly recognized the voice, but I couldn't remember who it belonged to.

"Hmm? Says who?" The androgynous voice of a child responded jokingly. I could tell he must have been smiling.

"Your best friend!"

"I don't wanna."

"Come on, don't make me tickle you."

"Hahaha! Okay, okay. I'll get up!"

"Good boy. Now gimme a hug."

There was something about the man's tone of voice that expressed true felicity. He sounded as if he were completely content with his life or something, unlike me...

The voices vanished and I felt someone's presence behind me. I turned around, and there was Joseph. He had his arms crossed and stared at the flowers beneath him. He seemed tense.

Some distance behind him was an abandoned train station. "Where are we this time?" I asked.

He gave a vague reply as usual. "Just near some small town."

I walked closer to him, mesmerized by the way the wind blew through his hair. Meanwhile, I tried to make sense of the conversation I had just heard. Obviously, he needed me to know something. Just then, I recalled what I knew about Joseph's past. I had read about his childhood, and I remembered that he lived among his father and their friend for a while. With the latter in mind, I asked him about the voices.

"Joseph, was that a conversation you had as a kid?"

He kept quiet and refused to look me in the eye.

"Who were those two? Hm?" I inquired with a gentle tone after stepping even closer. We were so close that our lips were almost touching. He had already uncrossed his arms at that point, so I reached for his hand. Joseph's face flushed once he felt my fingers touching his. He still kept his mouth shut, however.

After waiting for an answer that never came, I changed the subject and decided to confide in him once again.

"Hey, can I tell you a secret?"

"Sure."

"Something terrifying happened today, and it's all my fault. I'm scared," I began. "I took someone's life today." I let those words sink in, then clarified that it was someone I had been trapped in the Facility with.

"You're freaking me out. Why are you telling me something like that?" Joseph asked. The way he spoke made his comment sound almost rehearsed.

"Because I trust you," I explained. "Besides, I've got no one else to talk to right now." I felt as if I were about to break down and cry, but I held my tears back. I tenderly embraced Joseph, burying my face in his hard shoulder. "I love you," I credulously admitted.

"Why?" Joseph questioned. "There's still so much you don't know about me. And I don't deserve anyone's love. Not after the life I've lived." He pushed me away, ending the embrace.

"Just tell me about your life. I won't judge you, I promise."

Joseph's breathing became heavier. "I'll tell you one thing. Life hasn't been easy for me lately, either. Sometimes I get the urge to harm myself. Today, I actually cut myself." He stretched his arms out in front of him, showing me his wrists. Fresh cuts appeared spontaneously as he spoke. I knew he didn't like to imagine them being there.