Dear my best friend,I don't know why you didn't tell me
I could have helped you
Even if it's just asking a simple how are you
I didn't know
I hate making excuses
But I seriously didn't know
If only I asked
Maybe I'd knew
But I didn't
It's all my fault
If I was more concerned
Or worried about you
This won't happen
You didn't have to leave like this
I'm so sorry
I couldn't do anything to help you
I feel so useless
This is literally my fault
I read what you wrote about me
I'm sorry if you didn't want me to
But I read it anyway
Your sister told me a lot about you
Things I didn't even knew
And how I wished I knew
So that I could protect you
And maybe let you feel some bit of happiness you should've felt
I just can't help to think it's all my fault
If I was more caring and protective of you
I wouldn't have to watch you leave like that
I wouldn't have to watch you suffer
Why didn't you say anything?
Is it because I was too preoccupied with her?
Were you jealous?
I should have gone with you when you asked me
I shouldn't have rejected you
Just to go on a date with her
I didn't even get to say how important you were to me
You were like the pillar of my life
Without you
I would never be the person I am today
I feel so empty now
If I went with you that day
You would never end up like this
It never crossed my mind you would leave this fast
I feel so fucking guilty
Yes
I cursed
You scolded me when I first cursed in 8th grade
Telling me how bad a word it is
I didn't even dare curse in front of you again
Now that you're gone
Who is supposed to warn me now?
I should have went with you
That way
You wouldn't have to die like this
Why did you have to go out on a day like that?
It was such bad weather
It was at night too
I hate how unfortunate you are
I hate how the stupid huge sign had to fall on you
I hate that no one was there to help
I hate how I wasn't with you
Why did you go out?
What was so important?
Your sister told me
You were searching for me?
Why?
Just for a stupid wallet
I could have taken it the next day
You didn't have to go
Why?
I love you
My best friend
Always
Forever
The wallet that you tried to return
It came back to me
Now I realize
It's because of that picture, huh?
The picture of us graduating middle school together
You wanted to give it back to me because of that
Because you realized that I still treasured our graduation pic
I can't believe it
Are you dumb or are you dumb?
I miss you
Best friend
END
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Second Choice | Jaehyun
RomanceIn which a girl writes about her unrequited crush. •170305• START •170322• END