Her Insecurities🤧

Maybe chocolate isn't so bad...Or so i thought

For a long time Ky'la for the first time in her life she didn't feel pain
She didn't feel empty
She didn't feel Unloved
But instead she felt like a different person
She felt like she was growing
She felt a glow that a match lit in her...

Kyla's Pov
As my laughter bounced around the room
I still felt as if somebody was staring...
The heat of the stare set a fire in the inside of me...
Only one person stare , touch or voice made me feel that way
How was i so young feeling this way...Feeling the heat of his actions....

So deep in thought Ky'la didn't notice that Chris got out his seat to see if she was alright since she was staring in space as if confused

Chris: Ky'la you alright ?

Ky'la: Yea im alright Chris

Chris: I'm not gonna lie...Since you first came I've wonder why you do you &' sister stay with you're grandma ?

Ky'la thought to her self is she really ready to tell anybody her story?....

Was she really ready to know the hurt she felt?

The love she never had?

The way she thought her life wasn't even worth it ?

Or how she was a Unloved girl.....

I barely knew what life was like but already wanted to end it...

Later that day as Ky'la was walking home with Hope, she stared at the ground thinking did people really wonder that much why she didn't stay with her parents

The sound of Hope voice brought her out of these thoughts

Hope: You ever think about the future ?

Ky'la:Yea at times.....Like how grandma said don't let the past effect our future?

Hope:Yea....I know things seem so far along but in reality things aren't that far from now

Ky'la: Yea all the time but I'd rather focus on now rather then what's ahead of our time....

Later that night when they got home as ky'la sat in the tub....She thought about how lost she was how she didn't even know her own true identity....

What she went through she didn't care about her future because her present was going good for once...

She just cared to get through the day ...

Not about what to do when you have everything figured out but when you didn't

When she could be free ...

Free from the hurt

Free from the suffering

Free from the thoughts that hunted her head..

The next day she woke up actually smiling before she left ear to ear with out any worries As her and her sister left out the car her hair bounced with the wind , She walked as if she was Floating so light ....

She had this glow to her as if no matter what anybody said they couldn't even understand why she smiled so bright even though her life was no where near it....

*As she approached her class she realized her teacher wasn't there...as she sat down with her friends...Laughing talking and eating she approached the trash can ...When she came to her seat she noticed somebody was sitting in it she looked at the person back even though they faced the other way she knew that haircut , voice and mouth watering skin tone anywhere from just a glance*

Chris:If you want you're seat you gotta sit on my lap so that way it can be our seat

Ky'la: Chris I'm not gonna play this game with you move out my seat boy

Chris: A game ?Alright

As Ky'la stared at him patiently but irritated she waited for him to move but as she looked at she noticed he talk to the people at her table as if he sat there

Ky'la: Chris stop playing I'm getting tired of standing

Chris: I told you already you have a spot that I'll gladly share with you Ky'la

As Ky'la stared at Chris she realized he was her best distraction from the hurt but was he her best decision for Love?
Frankly she didn't care she just wanted him even though she barely knew him

She sat on chris lap not worried about the judging looks she was getting from her friends or the surprised looks they was getting she just cared about the way his laughed was like music to her ears

The way he looked at her in the Corner of his eyes to make sure she was okay

The way he played with her braids that was freshly done in her head
The way he whispered stupid jokes in her ear as if they weren't getting watched by the whole class for their next actions

With no care in the world they sat there at her table laughing and smiling with the other as they joked about random things

He made her feel as if she was the only one in the room... The way he held her Waist he slowly but with so much emotion caressed it as if she was his but they both knew that it was far from what they really were...

For a second she looked back at him as in cue he looked at her they just stared at each other then she looked down at his lips he looked down at hers but as if she just got burned she got up off his lap and turned away and she asked the teacher can she go to the bathroom

As if she realized she couldn't do this anymore she thought I can't do this .. I'm supposed to have this and these thoughts far from my mind but this boy she thought had me captivated on him , his eyes , his skin tone , he's arms holding her as if he let go of her she would fall and break , his scent &' the way his lips moved when he talked to her...
As she slowly but regretfully approached the class she told her self no feelings getting involved..Just hard work thats all...

but deep down she knew he would be her downfall for her words...