The Vacation Program (ReWrite)

Chapter 8: Day 31; Measure Up

Day 31: December 1st, 2013

Jayce and I hadn't talked about the kiss, and it looked like we never were going to. The kiss was still fresh in my mind and I could feel his lips on mine. Sometimes thinking about it gave me a little pep in my step, but I had to keep focusing. For a month, Jayce heavily interrogated me through therapy sessions and we made some progress. Day by day, I continued to eat more but it was past due time for a weigh in. I stood almost naked, vulnerable and terrified. The scale was at my feet, and it was cold to the touch of my toes. Before I arrived here, I weighed ninety pounds, and I was nervous to stand on the scale. The mirror was in front of me, and I traced my hands on my ribs and hip bones I worked so hard for. I wasn't as thin as I was, and I knew it. I tried to remain calm as I stood on the scale with my eyes closed. The scale beeped and I jumped off and threw on a robe.

"Okay, I'm done."

Jayce busted through the door and smiled at me, "This changes nothing."

I exhaled, "Yeah yeah, I know that."

"You don't believe that," He looked down at the scale, "Look."

I peeked over at the scale and didn't say a word. It read one hundred pounds.

"Oh..."

"Autumn, it's really good you're gaining weight, and that weight is probably all you gained from working out."

I sighed, "I know you're right. I just-hitting one hundred is a lot, okay? I just need to not think about it-"

"No, you need to think about it. Think about your weight, look at it from the positive perspective. You're getting healthy, you're gaining good weight, you're eating more. None of these things have kept you from being skinny..." He looked at me up and down, "Take your robe off."

I blinked, "What-?"

"Take your robe off. I want to show you how beautiful you are."

My heart pounded, I didn't know what he meant. What was he going to do? Was I ready for what he was gonna do? My legs shook, and my breathing slowed. I slowly untied the robe, and opened it. It fell to the ground, and I couldn't look Jayce in the face. He pulled me in front of the mirror and stood in front of me.

"Okay?" He asked.

I nodded as my heart raced and skin shivered. He took his hands and slowly placed them on my hips.

"Okay, now look at yourself. You're skinny, I feel your bones. But I also see your muscle forming, and I need you to see it too."

I inhaled, and he trailed his finger up the side of my body and retracted. He kissed my shoulder and exited the bathroom, and I was once again left confused. I went to my room and threw on sweats and a tank top. We had already run for the day, and after the scale I was feeling exhausted. I cuddled up and into my bed, thinking of our kiss and how his hands felt on my body. Maybe this is how it happens--Maybe seducing me is part of his program, but it was unlikely considering that he'd have to leave me at the end which wouldn't help my position. When I fell asleep, I had nightmares about girls from my past.

***

I was alone in the bathroom, and my whole body was shaking. I opened a stall and hung up my purse, and bent over the toilet. Adam and I had broken up five days ago, and it felt like my life was falling apart. My mouth was sweating and my stomach turned at the idea of what I was doing. But I did it, and as soon as I did, "friends" of mine walked into the bathroom.

Laurel sniffed and shrieked, "Who the fuck is barfing in here!?"

I stopped puking and slowed my breathing however, the girls still knew it was me.

"Oh my god, Autumn? What're you doing?" Tiffany asked.

I stood up and walked out of my stall and to the sink. The three girls stood in a line, glaring at me with nasty looks.

Laurel walked up behind me and looked into the mirror in front of us, "Why are you throwing up?"

"Uhm... I don't know... I think it's just a bug, but don't worry I'm good now."

Laurel placed her hand on my shoulder then made a face and removed it, "Honey, I know you and Adam just broke up, and no one really knows why. If something is wrong Autumn, trust me," the girls crowded around me, "You can tell us."

I blinked and snuck out from under them, "Seriously... I'm fine..."

I walked out of the bathroom and got a drink of water from the fountain. My phone vibrated off the hook, and I opened it to a million tweets.

"@MattY: So first Adam tells everyone he slept w/Autumn, now she's preggers."

Baby emoji? We didn't even sleep together?

"@AshAim: Poor Autumn, she just got started losing weight and now she's eating for 2!"

"@JasonW: @ADAM696969, way to go. Pull out game weak."

I breathed heavily and tears formed in my eyes. I began typing a tweet to explain myself.

"@Autumnnn: Like I told Laurel, I have the flu. I'm not pregnant, and Adam and I did not sleep together."

Drama at our school lasted a short time, and I knew this would blow over. That didn't stop the anxiety in my body and I shook waiting for replies.

"@Autumnnn Damn, call him out lmao savage."

"@Autumnnn You totally slept together, but at least you aren't pregnant."

"@Autumnnn Darn, I had MTV on the line."

Laurel and her groupies found me shortly after my tweet. They stood in front of me with their fluffy bags and expensive coats, huffing at me.

"Awe, we were so excited for a baby in our group! Too bad Adam's got slow swimmers."

They all laughed and I rolled my eyes, "Laurel, unlike you I don't sleep with everyone I know. I didn't sleep with Adam, and he's just saying that to make up for the 'time he wasted'."

"Like anyone's gonna believe you over Adam. You're just angry he fucked and dumped you. It's okay honey, life goes on."

"Laurel, you're a giant slut and I'm not."

She laughed, "I'm not a slut you cunt."

"You literally have had sex with half our student body."

Tiffany whispered, "75%."

Laurel hushed her and focused back at me, "So what? I like sex. There's nothing wrong with it."

"I'm not slut shaming, I'm just saying. Don't lie and say I'm pregnant when you're the one with the ability to be pregnant."

"Just stop sleeping with people you little whore, we don't need you reproducing-"

A boy came up behind her and grabbed her ass. She playfully laughed and turned around to him, he kissed her neck and she pulled her hair. We all stood around trying to avoid her moaning as he grabbed her all over. His hands reached up and under her clothing, grabbing skin only shown to the male species. She pushed him off and grabbed his pants.

"Tonight."

He walked away, she followed with her posse. I scoffed and walked away, to my locker. I grabbed the books and binders I needed and marched to class, head held high.