The Vacation Program (ReWrite)

Chapter 14: Day 32; It Just Hurts

Jayce's face went from happy to serious, "We fell in love, it was crazy and quick. I had thought that I'd found the person I was going to be with the rest of my life. I was young and naive, and didn't even know what shitstorm was heading my way."

"What happened?"

He looked down at the sheets, "She cheated on me," He paused, "She had been with a guy the entire time we were together, and she broke up with me because she found out she was pregnant and it wasn't mine."

I squeezed his hand which was twisted in mine and leaned against his shoulder, "Neither of us have had good luck with our first loves."

"But now that you know that, I want to talk about us."

"Oh, yay."

"Autumn, I clearly can't tell you I don't have feelings for you, because I do. And they're very strong feelings, but I will control myself and you will too. We will get through these next three months together, and then we can see what we want. If it's still each other, then we move from there."

"So when you kissed me-"

"I won't have another slip up, promise."

I laughed, "Okay, I think it sounds like a plan."

I looked up to him and he looked down at me, "We have to go run."

My eyes widened, "Are you serious?!"

He laughed, "Deadass."

"I've already done my workout for the day," I smirked.

He rolled his eyes, "Doesn't count. Come on, go get dressed."

He started to walk away but I grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the bed, "Wait. I didn't get to talk."

"Okay, so talk," He laid down next to me.

I was biting my nails and blinking heavily, "So, I don't know if you remember... we were really drunk... But... I... Last night-It was my first... time."

Jayce blinked at me, and he body laid still. His breathing stopped, and his eyes were wide open.

"This is bad," He whispered and got up from the bed, pacing around the room.

I shook my head and tried to reassure him, "It's fine, it's really not that-"

"Autumn," He covered his face, "If I had been in my right mind-I can't believe..."

I shifted my body and crossed my legs, "Calm down."

"I can't Autumn, this isn't something you can just undo-"

"You're not the one who has to live with it! I am. And I'm okay, it's okay."

He knelt beside the bed, "Okay, okay... Just, talk to me if you need to, okay?"

I shook my head and then left the room. I walked to my bedroom, and put on new clothes. It hadn't hit me yet, and I didn't feel different. All my life, I waited, so that when it happened I would feel different and it would mean something, and nothing was different. I grew frustrated with myself thinking of last night.

"Why did I go in there? Why couldn't I have just left it alone?" I whispered as I laid on my bed and began to flashback to the night before.

It was hazy but I remembered the experience, which I couldn't decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Part of me wanted to forget, but the other part knew I never could. As I laid on my bed, more and more of the previous night became clear and I began to feel worse. Suddenly, everything was different. My heart was pounding and my cheeks turned bright red, and I jumped up from my bed and ran to my bathroom. I threw up into the toilet and cried. After a few minutes, I laid out in my bathtub, waiting for this day to be over after it had just started. Jayce busted through my door, obviously hearing my agony in the bathroom.

"Autumn," He whispered while knocking on my bathroom door.

I laughed lightly, "I'm not pregnant, I'm just not feeling well."

He laughed back, "I know you're not, but I know this is more than a stomach bug."

Tears effortlessly streamed down my face as my body was limp in the tub. Jayce entered the room, shirtless and in sweats, and rested on the toilet.

I turned my head towards him and smiled, "This isn't your fault."

He shook his head, "I don't want to make this about me. This is about you."

"For some reason, I got in my head and suddenly it hit me and now I know nothing is gonna be the same."

"I understand, but I want you to know I'm here. We're going to get past this, and faster than you think."

"I know that, but for now," I paused, "It just hurts."

"I know," He sighed.

***