My life in one book ❤ It was here that I met you~ 🌸🍦

Monster inside

Second letter,
Dear: Thomas
You've changed a dreadful lot, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me...
You've ripped me apart with the poison dagger constantly tearing off my limbs one by one, until you're satisfied and soaked in my blood. You've made a scar so deep I don't think I could ever forget.
Living a life of sin, a life of guilt, a life of regret and sorrow.
I mean how could I just forgive myself.. And for a long time I had thought you were the monster, but truely it was me.. I thought we knew each other inside out but now I know that I don't know anything about you. The facade you put on is disgusting, it makes me sick, but if I say that it'd be so hypocritical, because I too am the same..
I am to disgusted of myself.
"Mine has been a life of shame." and I ask myself how could I hate someone so much but still go as far as die for them?
I don't want you in my life, yet I search for you. Why do you pretend to be nice to me one minute then brush me off the next?
People take me as a joke, like a sucidual jumping off the roof with a smile. So maybe stop, and take a look behind all the fake smiles, mine and your own.
So I beg you to set me free, kill me off. Make meaning behind these lies. Cause it's getting harder to live with you haunting me. Might as well be faded..
Cause I'm a monster deep inside..

-Clarie (from the book wasteland, story before wasteland is still left untold)

Ps. The picture is an extract from the book Book girl and the famished spirit