I CANNOT BELIEVE MY WRETCHED BEAST OF A SISTER!
So Kelly and I got in a fight about gay rights, and I won, but obviously she refuses to lose. So fast forward a few hours and she is still mad about it.
I tell her to get over it. She tells me I need to find Jesus. I tell her she needs to find some sense. She says she hopes thinks all non-straight people will go to Hell, and she can't wait for Corey and I to get there. I had had enough. I punched her in the nose.
Now you probably suspect me to be weak and not know how to fight, but that is not true. See, Corey came out when I was in fourth grade, and living in southern Virginia, he got beat up a lot. So I had to protect him. It's the one athletic thing I know how to do.
When Kelly tried to hit me back I knew exactly what to do. To sum it up, she has a broken nose and finger. She was very embarrassed. She isn't the better twin now and she knows it. Everyone does. She hates that. So ya know what she decided to do?
CUT MY BUN OFF IN MY SLEEP!
But guess what? I got it trimmed up and it looks fricken sick dude. I look all trendy. I like it. Thanks Kelly!
YOU ARE READING
Heather The Soccer Mom and her "Wonderful" Family
Humor**DISCONTINUED** Follow the life of an awesome, totally not lame, soccer mom: Heather and her family as they deal with what life throws at them. The story is told through the point of view of the mom and kids.