DIVIDE X PHAN

HAPPIER

PHAN TRASH POSTED THIS EDIT AND IT'S REALLY GREAT YOU SHOULD WATCH IT BECAUSE IT KIND OF FITS THE STORY 

Word count: 1449

-_-

Dan walked into the bar he and Phil used to go to all the time. Used to. He was ready to forget; he was ready to hookup and pass out. All the pain he had gone through in the past month was the worst pain he'd ever experienced.

The strong smell of alcohol hit him once he opened the door to the bar, also mixed with a slight smell of rain. The weather in London was absolutely horrendous; it was raining and the wind was whipping loudly through the trees. Dan used to love the rain because Phil got so excited over it, but now it was the most depressing thing in existence because it just reminded him of Phil. Correction: everything reminded him of Phil.

Dan wiped his shoes on the doormat; he didn't want to bring attention to himself with loud, squeaky shoes. He walked straight to a lonely bar-stool in the corner. The bar was in the shape of a rectangle with stools surrounding itself. There were tables too, where most people sat.   

"The strongest you've got," Dan requested when the bartender asked him what he wanted. The bartender squeaked at him. She seemed annoying. Bleached-blonde hair adorned her head and she smacked her gum all-too-loudly. Shortly after, the bartender was back with five shots of jagermeister and Dan didn't hesitate to down the first in two sips. 

Phil. Fuck everything. Fuck my life. I wanna die. Phil. I love Phil. Phil hates me, why?

These thoughts increased their intensity with every shot he took, slowly yet surely invaded his brain.

His eyes wandered over the sweaty, dancing bodies. No one in particular caught his attention, though. Fuck; no one was as good as Phil. He cursed himself for hurting the boy who was way out of his league in the first place; he cursed himself for being so vulnerable. He couldn't even get his mind off of the boy, just like the love stories. He'd thought that it was all bullshit, it wasn't really possible to be that heartbroken. Now he understood how bad his judgement was at that time.

Once he was about to pick up his fourth shot, the door was pushed open and in came a gorgeous angel; also known as Phil Lester. Dan's beloved ex. They'd dated for 18 months, it'd only been a month since they broke up. Once Dan caught sight of the beautiful boy, his heart shattered into a million pieces yet again, if that was even possible. 

The fact that Phil was there to have a genuinely good time whilst Dan was sat moping in a corner wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was that Phil didn't come alone. There was a man attached to his hip, kissing him on the cheek as they strode through the door. They seemed completely sober, which made Dan come to the conclusion that this wasn't just some random hookup. The guy was muscular, but not too muscular. He had dark brown hair with the occasional blonde streak poking through. He was about Dan's height, fitting perfectly into Phil's arms; just as Dan had not long ago. 

The two glanced lovingly at each other, smiling happily. They looked so much happier than Dan could ever remember he and Phil being. Dan downed another shot as he looked at the couple, he was assuming. The other man whispered something in Phil's ear and made Phil giggle lightly. His tongue slightly poked out of his mouth while he laughed which used make Dan smile, but now the gesture made him jealous because he wasn't the one causing it.

He's happier now, isn't he?

Dan knew it was selfish. He knew he failed to make Phil happy, but he couldn't help feeling jealous of the other man. Phil was happier now, only this time it was without Dan by his side. His head told him that if he truly loved Phil he should be happy for him, but his heart hated seeing someone other than himself be the cause of his happiness.

Mr. Perfect leaned over to peck Phil on the lips. The gesture made Phil's cheeks turn pink from blushing and oh my god, the look he gave him. It was packed full of love and admiration.

Fifth shot gone.

Dan wasn't surprised that Phil hadn't noticed him yet, the pair seemed too focused on each other to notice anyone else around. It was like they forgot other human beings existed, and Dan could only dream of Phil sharing that look with him now.

Phil reminded him of sugar and sweets. His slightly rosy cheeks and oh so sweet smile. He could almost get high off of his silky, jet black hair and addictive laugh. His long, thin hands that looked so hold-able just tortured Dan even more.

He'd better know he's holding the hands of an angel. He better know how lucky he is to being able to kiss Phil like that.

Dan looked down at his phone and discovered he had a text from PJ. He hadn't been easy to communicate with the past month, but that didn't stop PJ from checking in on him, and the text was exactly that. Asking Dan if he was okay.

The heartbroken boy texted his friend, telling him where he was and that he was perfectly fine and added a smiley emoji at the end. He also included that he saw Phil there with someone else; someone he looked extremely happy with. Dan was doing perfectly horrible, though,  and he was pretty sure PJ knew that.

'One day you'll feel it too,' PJ had responded. Would he, though? When he looked up from his phone Phil was sat at a table alone. At first Dan thought that his boyfriend (?) had left him which fed him mixed emotions. He wanted to beat the living shit out of him for leaving a diamond alone like that, but he was also felt relieved because he wouldn't have to see them happy together even though he knew how selfish it sounded.

Soon Dan discovered that he was only left to get them drinks. The guy was standing 5 meters away when he began to tell the bartender his order, obviously in a better mood than Dan, who was hiding his face by pretending to pay attention to his phone once again.

It had been a late night when Phil came home from hanging out with their friend, Chris. Dan thought that he'd been spending a little too much time with Chris the last few weeks, though, so he decided to confront his boyfriend about it. He was a very jealous person and had to make sure he wasn't cheating. The discussion got heated quickly and Phil left with the last words he'd said to Dan being: "We were planning a party for you asshole, but you don't even trust me enough to do that, do you? That was the last straw, Dan. You don't even make me happy; if anything you just make me frustrated! We're over."

Dan glanced to his side and didn't see the guy at the bar. He turned around on the bar-stool and to his horror, he made eye-contact with Phil at that very moment. That glance was the most interaction they'd had in a month. Phil's jaw dropped and his big smile turned to a frown within seconds.

"You don't even make me happy; if anything you just make me frustrated!"

Phil turned and said something to his partner and, just as Dan thought his day couldn't get worse, Phil came walking towards him. He face sported a weird combination of anxious and determined. Dan felt dizzy and sick, although he doubted it was the alcohol's fault.

"I'm sorry Dan, but me and- um" Phil mumbled, barley audible over the music pounding through their ears. Dan had expected Phil to be angry and shout at him, but he didn't know why he chose not to. It was Phil after all, though, the sweetest, kindest person alive.

"Promise that I will not take it personal, If you're moving on with someone new" Dan swore. It was partially a lie, but Dan knew he'd been a dick, so it also shared some truth. Phil sighed and nodded in response before turning to walk away, but before he could leave Dan grabbed his arm.

"But if he breaks your heart like lovers do, just know that I'll be waiting here for you"

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