Tides

{ chapter ten: stargazing }

10.

stargazing

________________

{Hazel}

The days since have been calm and boring at the most. Blake has been casual; he made the occasional move on me, which I brushed off and then laughed about later on. Reese and Brooklyn have been the same girls they always were. As for Noel Carter - he has been him.

Mom called a few times to check on me and Marco did, as well. Dad has been the same, too and Natalie made me hazel cake a few times.

Clementine Port was the same - nothing was changing.

**

Later that night, I woke up suddenly from another nightmare. My forehead was dripping in sweat and my hands were tensed and numb. I sat up, wiped my forehead, and quickly put on a pair of jeans and my old lifeguard hoodie. My plan for tonight was go to the beach to clear my head.

I had to sneak out; Natalie and Dad wouldn't let me out this late and Bryce would probably join them in lecturing me to not sneak out, even though Bryce does it almost every night.

I slipped on my flip-flops and quietly went through the front door. When the cold air hit my face it became eerily quiet in a way that sent chills down my spine. Even thought it was calming I could feel just weird. "Whatever.." I thought to myself.

I walked through the brush and palm leaves until I felt the soft crystal sand beneath my feet. I kicked off my sandals and went to my favorite spot under the big palm tree.

I leaned against it, took a deep breath, and looked up at the sky. The stars were out - and, of course, they were shining brightly. I could point out constellations and falling stars and ..

"Are you .. okay?"

I froze - who the hell just said that? I backed up at first, but I was Hazel. I reached out and felt a soft hand touch mine; it wasn't a fierce grip like in the movies, but instead they just gently grazed my fingers and disappeared. 

Whoever was there stepped into the moonlight. Noel Carter was wearing a fleece and a confused look on his face. And I thought I looked weird. 

"Hazel; what are you doing out here?" he asked softly while tilting his head to the side. I looked down at my feet - wondering what to say. Looking back up to him, I bit my lip, "I needed a breather; I had a nightmare," I took another deep breath, "I should be the one asking why you are here as well." Noel laughed, "Have you ever looked at the sky at night, Hazel?" I raised my eyebrow. Noel was asking a rhetorical question, now. 

"Of course!" he laughed again and pointed to the sky above us, "No, I mean this sky at this time of night. The constellations; do you see them?" When I looked up at first all I saw were plain stars scattered over the night sky. But, when I really looked I could see what he meant.

Millions of sparkling stars were scattered on the dark sky and I could make my own constellations. I saw a dog, a car, and even a fork; hell, you could see anything in the sky's canvas. I was lost in my own world for a bit, I guess. Noel shook my shoulder. "Saw it?" I nodded, "Yeah." 

He looked up, and for a moment his eyes were dull and I could tell he was in the same bliss that I was in, too. When he looked back, he gave a small smile, "You know, everytime I come out here I can make out faces of people I know, too." 

He sighed and I sighed, too. I looked over to Noel and for a brief moment I swore that his eyes were glazing over; but, he quickly looked back to me and his expression changed. 

"Hmm?" he asked, "Need something?" 

"It's nothing."

"You sure?" 

"..Maybe."

"You can tell me." 

"Can I?" 

"Yes."

"What do you want me to tell?"

"What do you want to tell me?" 

"A lot of things, Noel. I have a lot of things to tell but I'm not sure if they are worth sharing."

"Everyone's words are worth sharing, Hazel."

"Okay." 

I let out a long sigh and looked away; I could still feel Noel's eyes on me. And then the words spilled out.

"When I look up, I see my .. best friend - well, old best friend. She committed suicide a while ago and she never slipped away from my mind." 

Noel didn't get up. He didn't leave. He didn't scoff or change the subject. All he said was, "I understand." 

Understanding. What happened to him that made him understand?

-

{ Noel } 

I could see her eyes. They were bright under the night and sparkled. Her expression changed - she was confused and she wondered.

I could tell what she wanted to know.

And I will tell her.

"Someone that meant a lot to me .. my girlfriend .. was killed. She is all I think about now." 

Hazel bit her lip and hugged her knees to her chest, "Sometimes I wonder.." 

"Wonder what?"

"What is it like when you die?" 

"You go where you go." 

She looked at me, perplexed.

"If you believe in God, you go to Heaven. If you believe in Allah you go to Paradise. Things like that."

"And if you don't believe in God?"

"You go where you go, I suppose. I don't know if it's beautiful - or awful. It is what it is." 

"It is what it is." Hazel echoed. 

And that night, Hazel and I sat in silence on that very beach until we saw the sun come up. And when it did, we left without a word. 

*~*~*~*~

I FINALLY FINISHED CHAPTER 10! Sorry if it is awful or whatever but I wanted this chapter to be a contemplating one with both Hazel and Noel. 

I will begin on Ch 11 soon. 

-Angela