Forgiven

When she left

Bellamy
Clarke stared at the lever intensely, a look of hate and regret filtering through her eyes. Bellamy frowned and came up beside her,
"Together?" He wrapped his hand around hers. She looked up at him, tears threatening her cheeks, and nodded.
"Together."
The two of them brought their hands onto the lever and pulled down. Almost instantly, they began to hear screams and cries. Clarke pulled her hand away. Her hands started to shake and her legs began to wobble. Before Bellamy had the time to react, Clarke was on the floor, crying. Bellamy hated this, he hated having to kill the people that had helped them. He lowered himself slowly to Clarke's level, just a few inches away from her. She looked up and into Bellamy's eyes, "what did I do?" Bellamy shook his head, "what did we do?". Clarke and Bellamy had done this together, it was their only option, Bellamy wasn't going to let Clarke blame herself for this. Clarke sniffled and wiped the tears from her eyes.
"We are in this together, princess" Bellamy brushed a hair out of Clarke's face and pulled her into a hug.
________________________________

Clarke
Clarke, Bellamy and Monty walked briskly into the dining hall.
They were all dead. Men, Women, and children lay on the floor, in chairs and sofas. Jasper cradled a radiation burnt Maia, who had taken her last breath just moments earlier . Jasper looked up and yelled, "you! You did this!" He pointed at Clarke accusingly. Clarke's gut twisted, he's not wrong. The thought almost made her vomit
Bellamy stepped in front of her,
"It was the only thing-"
"I was going to kill him!" Jasper was talking about the president. Clarke swallowed the lump in her throat and grabbed for Bellamy's hand, he took it and gripped it tightly.
"It wouldn't have worked Jasper," Clarke tried to reason with him. Jasper just shook his head and stood up.
"I just needed more time," he was almost whispering now. Clarke was fighting the urge to curl up into a ball and cry for the rest of eternity. Bellamy turned away, shaking his head and letting go of her hand.
"No, Jasper, I promise-" Jasper cut off Clarke's sentence with a brutally hard slap to the face. The sound so loud, everyone turned to stare in their direction, if they weren't already watching the scene. Clarke brought a hand to her face and stifled a sobbed "ow" before Bellamy turned back around, and brought his fist to Jasper's face. Clarke couldn't speak, what the hell did we do? Monty stepped in and wretched the two of them away from each other.
________________________________

Bellamy
He tried to get past Monty, his head throbbing with the sound of Jasper slapping Clarke, over and over again. He didn't stop struggling until Clarke placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, "it's not worth it, Bellamy" he turned and met his eyes with hers. Her cheeks were blotchy and her eyes stained red. The look on her face pleaded him to stop and leave, he turned to Monty and frowned,
"Sorry," he managed to muffle. Clarke breathed a quiet sigh of relief, Monty nodded his forgiveness and turned to handle Jasper. Clarke walked out of the dining hall with Bellamy, head sunken and tears slipping down her cheeks. Bellamy hated seeing her upset, but still walked in silence.

_______________________________

Bellamy
"Please, come inside, if you need forgiveness I'll give that to you, you're forgiven... just come inside" Bellamy pleaded with Clarke to stay, but she dismissed him
"Bellamy, I have to leave." she looked past Bellamy and at their people filing into camp Jaha.
Bellamy shook his head, "we can get through this, together" Clarke's eyes were full of tears now, she merely wiped them away,
"I can't...what I did," Bellamy clenched his jaw,
"What we did, you don't have to do this alone, Clarke" Bellamy didn't break eye contact with Clarke until she scoffed.
"I can't stay, not when Jasper can't even bring himself to look at me. And not when I can't look at anyone without them reminding me of what I've done" Clarke's face was stained with tears and her face was a blotchy shade of scarlet. Clarke tried to look him in the eye, when she couldn't, he pulled her into a warm hug, resting his chin on the top of her head. She hugged him back. She sniffles and buries her head into the crook of his neck.
"Be careful" Bellamy murmured with a locked jaw. Clarke nodded against his body, her tears now streaking along Bellamy's skin and shirt. Clarke pulled away and placed a soft kiss on Bellamy's cheek.
"I will. And I will come back...I promise" Bellamy nodded despite the fact that something deep inside of him told him otherwise.
Clarke gave Bellamy one last half smirk before walking away, into the opposite direction of camp Jaha.
It wasn't until Clarke was deep into the woods and far from sight that Bellamy even let a single tear stroll down his freckled cheek.