a l c o h o l & l o v e ↬ d.w. & c.n. [completed]

act 2 - 5 | alcohol and love | part two - love

i stay at a friends' for a couple of days
do the same
   dean texted his brother immediately.

   the boys left the tortures apartment with a small bag full of things dean may or may not need.

he supported himself on castiel's shoulder, while his other arm wrapped around his ribcage and stomach, fearing that it would burst otherwise.
   after cleaning his mouth several times, he had stopped spitting blood, meaning that at least his inner organs weren't hurt.

   yet, of course, waves of nearly numbing pain rushed trough his body. with every step he took, his lungs seemed to shrink and he became more unstable, putting more and more weight onto his friend.

*

like a wet throb dean fell into the scratchy, old seats of the last driving bus, castiel sat next to him, loosing up his shoulders.
   the driver had looked at them, one at a time, but his expression hadn't move an inch.

   it took quite some time to cross the town, and from time to time people would left and entered the vehicle.
some drunk, others tired.
  
as they slowly drove trough the different districts, changing from poor to rich, the look on the people's faces changed as well.
   from not caring and sorry to disgusted and afraid.

but this should be the last thing dean could find himself worry about. without any contraction inside his muscles he leaned against the cold glass of the window, his mind occupied with different tasks, such as not vomiting or slaver.

   he noticed the world around him started to spin. his eyes closed unwillingly, so without the strong grip of castiel, which held him by his shoulders just in time, the winchester would have been laying on the ground of the bus.

"we're nearly there." castiel said in his normal voice, yet for dean even his words were a blur, like he heard trough deep water.
   but he managed to nod.

*

carefully castiel sat his friend onto the edge of his bed, so his back would be supported by he wall behind him, his legs being spread out onto the mattress.

   he left the room for a second, getting a first aid kit from under the kitchen sink, but as he returned
    dean had already spilled the last bits of his stomach contents onto the floor and the mattress, but mostly on himself.

again and again dean murmured fast sorry-s and excuses, until his words became one mass no one could identify as a language anymore.
   his mind lost control over his muscles and his hands ran over his face harshly, without any sorts of coordination.

the helplessness and dependence of the situation shot tears into his forest green eyes. only a few of them rolled over his hard face.

"it's okay, dean, it's okay." castiel repeated over and over again in a soft, deep voice. "take of your shirt, we can clean it up, okay. and then you gonna take a nice, hot bath before we clean up your wounds, okay?"
   softly he held dean's face inside his large hands, making him look at him.

castiel could see the hot tears inside his eyes, he could nearly feel how they burned, as well.
   dean nodded.
and he tried to take off his shit but his arms wouldn't let him. Vainly he tried to get ahold of the fabric, yet his fingers went numb to the feeling. grabbing was impossible.

   his facial tracks became contorted in a shock second and all the tears that had brimmed inside his precious eyes now stormed over his cheeks without control.
  
   he bursted into heavy sobbing, his whole body trembled.

IT BROKE CASTIEL'S HEART TO SEE HIM LIKE THIS.

"it's okay."
, he repeated.

   and his hands were still wrapped around his face as all the bones inside his body began to shake.
"it's okay." he looked him directly into his eyes, but then they wandered off to somewhere else in hectic.

"how about this?" his voice was soft, he kneeled down next to dean, not caring about the vomit, the blood nor the spit or the sweat.
   "i'm gonna take off your shirt and unbutton your jeans. then we're gonna put you into a hot bath, panties on, of course." he chuckled, making dean laugh slightly as well "then i will clean up your wounds, and if you want me to stay, i'll stay, if you think you can take it, i'll go.
   and then you're gonna sleep inside a nice warm bed, and you won't have to fear nothing."

dean nodded. "okay." castiel smiled.
   he stood up again an grabbed the fabric of dean's shirt, softly pushing one arm trough a hole at a time, then pulling the shirt above his head.
  
   then, slowly, castiel helped dean onto his feet before he unbuttoned his jeans. they fell onto the floor by themselves.

again dean leaned against castiel.
   on his body bruises were already building up. from where his father had kicked him, red circles and ovals had formed on his light skin.

he hissed at every step he took.

*

where are you?
what happened?
i'll stay at gabe's but text me

*

   dean stepped into the, for now, empty bathtub by himself. then hot and warm water began to rush into the tub.
goosebumps build on his naked skin.

with a soft sponge castiel began to clean every wound he could find, most of them being in dean's face.
  
his dirty clothes landed on top of a pile castiel planned to clean the next day. as well as the bedsheets dean had vomited on before.
   for a second he left the bathroom and dean alone to clean up everything else.

dean at inside the bathtub, his shoulders hanging towards the ground.
   deep circles formed under his eyes and his whole body screamed for rest yet once again.

he wanted castiel to stay. not because he feared to drown but because he feared to be alone, he liked the boys presence very much, and was thankful for everything he did for him.

   he mumbled a soft "thanks" which castiel answered with a small smile.

*

   as dean was about to fall into the fresh sheets he turned to castiel. his mind was clearer than it was an hour ago.

again tears stood in his wonderful eyes and his voluminous lips trembled.
   with no warning at all he swung his arms around castiel, burring his head inside his shoulder, and the other boy did the same.

they stood like that for more minutes, just hugging, being there, with no words.
   as dean's harsh grasp loosened and they parted, he took castiel's face into his soft hands.
he mouthed thank you as tears rushed down his face again.

castiel, near tears as well, had a crooked smile on his lips, and nodded slightly.

   their breaths were heavy, and both could feel the hot air on the skin.

and then, without a warning, DEAN CLOSED HIS EYES AND PRESSED HIS DRY, SPLIT LIPS AGAINST CASTIEL'S.

   at first the other boy had his eyes wide open in shock, but then, eventually, closed them, even returning the breathtaking kiss.

both of dean's hands slid down behind castiel's neck, and as he stopped kissing the boy in front of him, he let his forehand fall against castiel's.

and again they just stood in silence.
BOTH SMILING

*