Shift

Normal?

Life with Erik was... sweet. Simple. Uncomplicated. Nice.

Stacey learned to tune out the ghosts when she was around him. They went away if she didn't look at them or acknowledge them. She ignored the guilt and told herself she was doing this for Erik. She was being normal, just like he deserved.

He opened doors for her. He brought her flowers. He gave her one of his jerseys to wear to the homecoming game.

Chris would never have taken Stacey to homecoming. It was too mundane.

Erik was mundane. Stacey appreciated it.

~

Stacey sat with Jess in the stands at the homecoming game. She'd pulled her hair into a high ponytail, ringlets framing her face, and worn Erik's jersey tucked into high waisted shorts. After the game, when she ran to meet him on the field, he kissed her in front of the whole town, dipping her and making it adorable. Everyone cheered. Blushing, she posed for pictures, showing off her little corsage, her smile radiant.
Erik drove her home and came inside. Amanda handed the baby over, and Erik played with him while Stacey went upstairs to change.

Her family loved Erik. The thought made her smile. She nearly melted as she came downstairs and saw how good he was with her little brother.

She pictured a normal life with him. A life with a church wedding, a few kids, growing up in a big plantation style home. Her children would be football players and dancers. They would be a simple, happy family.

She smiled.

"What?" Erik asked.

"Nothing. You just make me smile."

He grinned. "Good."

He grabbed her by the hand and they hurried out to Erik's car, waving goodbye to her dad and stepmom.
He reversed quickly down the driveway and sped to the lake by his house. He parked the car and turned to her, eyes gleaming. He pulled her in close and she was a little shocked by his sudden intensity as she closed her eyes and returned the kiss.

They'd been together quite a while, if you counted the beginning of school... and ignored the time in between then and now.

She squeezed her eyes closed harder and tried to ignore thoughts of... Chris.
His hair. His strong hands on her waist. His beautiful, beautiful eyes. His dimple.

She couldn't help but relive their last happy moment together, the way he'd kissed her so passionately...

She sighed. Erik, mistaking it for a sigh of passion, leaned the seat back abruptly, pulling her closer.

She gasped. He kissed her more fervently. She hesitated, but didn't want to upset him. He'd been so good to her.

He rolled so that he was on top of her. She was flat on the seat now, his weight held off of her by his arms, but still gently felt. Her body reacted; she arched her back and pulled him closer. He pulled her shirt over her head and brought his lips to her neck.

Chris flashed into her mind again. She stiffened, unable to go on.

Erik froze and sat up hurriedly. "I'm sorry, Stace, I went too fast," he apologized, a deep frown on his face.

She shook her head.

"I'm sorry. You didn't-"

"I did. I really want to do things right with you."

She smiled gently, still shaken by how much she thought of Chris while she was kissing Erik.

He kissed her gently and reached for her shirt, handing it to her.
She put it on gratefully, touching her lips and remembering how excited he'd been... and how not excited she'd been. She closed her eyes tightly as he drove away, back towards the city lights.
~

Stacey couldn't sleep.

She kept picturing the little family she'd imagined earlier, kept picturing the way her dad smiled at Erik while they talked sports, the way Amanda was so trusting, handing her baby over without a second thought when he came in the house. She pictured his sweet blue eyes and the way he opened even her car door.

She relived the way he'd kissed her, like he was parched and she was the cool water that would bring life into him again. She remembered how confident he was, how sure of her... and how hesitant she was. How she'd only halfway participated.

How she'd thought of Chris.

She was deeply saddened by her brain's betrayal. She was trying so hard to be normal.

So hard.

She liked Erik. She did. And he was crazy about her. So what was the holdup?

He was stable, steady, kind, and dependable. He was everything she wanted.

He was normal.

She could be normal, too, with him.

She could do it.