Shift

Gone

Thankfully, my dad let me stay home from school for the rest of the week. I knew I would be drowning in homework after four missed days, but I was too gone on pain killers to have done work anyway. Jessica came every day after school and caught me up, then she left in time for Chris to come over. When Saturday came, my black eyes were nearly faded all the way, and I could go eight hours without medicine.  

When I woke up, I headed downstairs for breakfast after stopping to take in my reflection and smile at the change. I still looked bad, but not nearly as bad.  

Amanda was nursing Isaac. Her head was turned. Her hair was clean, but it was dry and messy. She looked even more tired than she had on Monday. Dad looked exhausted. He was drinking black coffee like it was water, and his bleary eyes weren't focused on the newspaper in front of him. 

Amanda resituated her shirt and moved Isaac so that he was cradled in her arms. I poured a cup of coffee and took a gulp before sitting next to her and holding out my arms. 

"Go back to sleep," I told her. 

"No, I have to-" 

"It's fine, Amanda. I've got him for an hour. Go. You're about to fall over. You too, Dad." 

"Do you know how to-" 

"Yes. I can take care of him. Go to bed." 

They got up, and Dad put an arm around Amanda's shoulders while they headed upstairs. I smiled a little and started burping Isaac. 

When I was done, he looked up at me with huge blue eyes and smiled. It was adorable, and I wondered at his ability to smile like that so early...and then I smelled it. 

He wasn't smiling at me, after all.  

I gagged and brought him to his nursery, being extra quiet. I heard Amanda and my dad snoring on the way. I laid him on the changing table, making sure his head was on the little pillow, and sighed. The things I did for my family... 

I changed him and got him dressed in a little onesie before bringing him back downstairs. I sat on the couch with him and checked the wall clock. 

It had been ten minutes. 

Now what? 

He started to get fussy, so I stood and walked around the living room. He settled down, eyes drooping. I bounced him a little, and he fell asleep within two minutes. I stood there, holding my newborn brother, not exactly sure what to do next.  

I shivered suddenly, realizing how cold it was in the living room.  

I stiffened. 

No.  

Not now.  

No. 

I looked around wildly, my whole body tense and alert. I shivered again. 

I would not expose Isaac to this side of me. He would never have to be around when something like this happened.  

Never. 

I grabbed his blanket from the couch and tucked it around him, making sure he was warm. 

I was shaking, scared and determined at the same time. My whole body was on edge.  

I waited for what seemed like a very long time for the temperature to drop further, for my breath to start coming out in little puffs, for my body to freeze. 

It never happened. 

I heard the air conditioner kick off. 

I'd just nearly had a heart attack because the room was cold from the air conditioner.