Unnamed Crack Fic

Chapter Poo

CHAPTER POO (rhymes with two hehe haha hohoho) :D

"Yo" sherlock said to the guy at the waiter. Sherlock deduced he was a waiter. They were at Angelo's.

"Hello my name is Vladimir and I shall be yourwaiter enjoy" said Vladimir the waiter. Vladimir had an italino accent because angelo only hired italinios. Sherlock quickly thought of racism and world hunger and hobos and thought angelo might be really racist but that was alright because sherlock didn't care about any of those stupid problems and angelo was kind of sherlocks friend and yeah

"Can i call you Hella Vlad" skerlock asked.

"Only if you have a cowboy mustache" said Vladimir. Sherlock asked John for his emergency eyeliner that he always carried around for emergencies like these. John gave it to him. Sherlock drew a handlebar moustache because sherlock didn't feel like being a cowboy and because handlebars were his favourite. Suddenly he wished John had one.

"Cool" said sherlock. "Bye Hella Vlad". Hella Vlad walked away

Then angelo came "hi he said and he set a candle that smelled like blueberry and mint and cinnamon or what candles smelt

"Hella" said sherlock because he was now a hipsters because hipsters were cool

"Cool" said john because he would persevere until the very end and he really wanted to be cool. Then the world seemed to stop because john knew that was what he would ask santa for christmas for

"Anything for you and your date or whatever" said angelo's scruffy voice.

"cool i want wantons" said john. Angelo wrote that down. For some reason, he had wantons on his menu. Angelo didn't know why

"Sherlock the hella sexy bad boy wants tea. Black like my soul. And leave the bag in" said sherlock. John thought this was really badass and was suddenly turned on.

John liked sherlock's mustache.

'Angelo walked away

"Cool sherlock is this a date?" Asked john with a flutter of majestic hope in the pit of his soul

"Do you want it to be?" Asked sherlock as he stared into john's eyes. Sherlock thought they resembled a cat but he could be wrong because he had never seen a cata before but he was always right so thy must have been catty

"Yes" whispered john and he closed his eyes. They both slowly started to lean in. Their noses touched. Their breaths mixed. John's lips tingled because he felt sherlock's magical energy through his lips. Sherlock leand in a little closer--

"Lestraude is paying for our date" whispered sherlock against john's lips. John punched sherlock across the face. Sherlock fell backward into the baby behind him and he heard a snap and lokked down and the baby was dead

"YOU KILLED MY BABY!!!" Screamed the baby's mum "THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!" Then the mum helped sherlock up and she hugged him and she wanted to give sherlacck something so she gave him her child (the one that was alive)

Sherlock took the baby and then gave it to angelo and Angelo said thanks because his mum was a good italiano mum and taught him manners

Sherlock deduced john was crying at the door to the resteraunt so he went to john and hugged him and dried his tears like nicely and then held his plumpy hand even though it was plumpy like a turkey

Then he hailed a can amd went home bye