Funereal

two down

there we were again on the corner of "i haven't seen you in years".

i never said, "hello", and i never looked him in the eyes, but the way i rushed by had to have let him know that i was hiding the fact that i had missed him.

i told my friends that i didn't recognize him and that he had changed over the years.

i never thought i would say that i hadn't seen him in years.

days and weeks and months are okay, but years meant that were birthdays and holidays that he could've seen, but didn't.

years meant that he started another year of school without me, and he spent another summer without me.

years meant that we were legally allowed to do things we couldn't when we knew each other.

years meant that i didn't know who he was anymore.

two years ago in dallas is when he left me alone.

his father came to get him, and he ran out of my hotel room paid for by the school district, then we walked down the stairs instead of taking the elevator because it meant that we had more time.

we never had enough time.

i stood out in the street as his hand left mine, and he disappeared inside of a car whose license plate i had memorized, but have now forgotten, but there isn't a moment with him that i have forgotten.

i promised that there would never be another boy that i could ever fall in love with, but then you came around and proved me wrong.

did it make you feel strong to prove me wrong?

i felt us fall too quickly, and i felt us fall apart just as fast.

there isn't a damn thing i wouldn't give just to have him back, but there isn't a damn thing i wouldn't give to avoid losing you in the first place.

i have sacrificed my sleep and my thoughts and my dreams in the hopes that you might be flattered that all i can do is think about you.

the sad part is you used to feel this way too.

when did you stop feeling this way?

when did i become just anybody?

when, if ever, will you love me again, or talk to me the way you did before, or even tell me i make your heart skip a beat and beat faster at the same time like in the movies?

are you satisfied with saying that kind of love only happens in the movies?

if she hurt you, I'm sorry, but what did i have to do with that?

what have i done to make you feel like you need to hurt me in order to save yourself?

you told me the ways you hurt the people around you, and i told you that i couldn't see you doing that.

i heard about the girls you run down like old tires on your car that you keep around just in case the treads on the new ones wear down too.

i know you warned me before we got involved, but the only thing that stopped me from stopping you was the way your eyes got sad every time you said you weren't good enough for me.

you said that i deserved so much better, and that you weren't good enough for me.

you said you weren't good enough for me.

the sad part is I'm starting to believe it.

you were never good enough for me.