I Am Death (completed)

Chapter 4: Sebastian

When I walk into the nurses office I see Sebastian sitting in the waiting room alone. Sebastian has tissues stuffed up his nose and is tapping his foot on the floor impatiently, as soon as I'm in view he stops and sits up, unfolding his floppy arms and pulling the tissues out of his nose. The tissues are all bloodied but I think his nose has stopped bleeding now, which is good because when I confront him I want him to be focused on what I'm saying, and not focused on his battle injuries.

Without any introduction I walk right up to him and throw his books down at his feet, the loose bits of paper are at the top so he can see them, and so that he knows that I've seen them "what the hell are these?!" His brown eyes look wide as he looks up from the drawings on the floor and then at me "why are you stalking me?" Did he loose his damn voice in that fight?! "And" I take out the crumpled piece of paper from my pocket and unfold it, holding it in his face "what's this all about?!"

"I saw you" is all that he says, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips, but the more I stare at him the more it prompts him to elaborate "you were there, when I died" oh god, oh god, he remembers, oh god! I'm in so much trouble! Father will have my head for this!

"I don't know what you're talking about" I whisper harshly, maybe it's a little harsh to try and make him believe that he's insane, but the first thing that came to mind was denial.

He goes to say something but the nurse pops her head around the door "Sebastian, you can come in now" as she says that a boy comes out from behind her, holding his stomach and a paper bag, his face an off shade of green.

Sebastian stands up slowly and grabs his stuff off the floor, walking sheepishly towards the nurse, I forgot he was kicked in the stomach. When he's disappeared into the room the nurse turns to me, she has a soft smile and kind eyes "are you a friend?" She asks and doesn't wait for a reply "if you are you can come and sit with him if you like"

Might as well, I don't particularly want to go back to class and I'm afraid that the green faced boy is going to hurl all over me. I nod slowly and grab my bag before walking to the nurse, she closes the door and offers me a seat next to where Sebastian is sitting. The nurse goes off to the other side of the room to grab a form and starts to fill it out, with her out of listening distance I whisper to Sebastian "why would I appear to you when you were dead? At any rate you don't look very dead to me"

"You tell me..."

"Right then, Sebastian, lets see what the damage is today" I have a feeling these two see each other often, like Liz and Doris.

With a hiss of pain Sebastian slowly removes his long sleeved stop, and I can see straight away that Liz was right, his upper body is decorated with burns from the fire. His left arm wears them like a sleeve, and his back has barely any smooth skin, his front isn't so covered but there are burns where the jock would have kicked him. The nurse starts her examination but I don't really pay attention, my eyes keep traveling between his scars and the drawing of me that was screwed up.

I have no idea what to do next, I can't tell him what I am, but making him think he's crazy is just cruel. Basically I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place with no way out, I'd consult father but he'd be absolutely livid, the voices aren't much help because they're all talking at once and have conflicting opinions. Maybe I should just leave, go back home and pretend none of this ever happened.

"... and try not to get into any more fights young man, ya hear?" Sebastian nods and pulls his shirt back on, turning to look at me, I have no words, I just stare at him and he stares at me, it's like we're talking but there's nothing to be said.

The nurse lets us leave, giving Sebastian some advice before we walk out the door in silence. I don't know what to say, I want to explain everything but at the same time I just want to run and hide "oh hey, Ray" Liz? I turn to see Liz being escorted in by a staff member, she looks out of it, she's struggling to keep her eyes open and her smile is weak, what the hells she been doing now?

"Liz? Are you okay?" I say as I touch her arm, looking into her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine man! I'm here on the moon with all my friends" huh? Is this more teenage language that I don't understand?

Sebastian smirks and grabs her chin, tilting her head so he can examine her "she's stoned" he says after releasing her face.

"She was outside smoking and almost got hit by a car" the staff member says to the nurse whose just appeared behind us. Liz denies everything as the nurse tells them to come in.

With a dazed expression Liz grabs my hand and tells me that it's all a conspiracy or something, but as she speaks there's a flash in my brain, no no no no no! Not her! The others leave with the nurse and it's just me and Sebastian, I can still see everything around me as a premonition plays in my head.

I can see Lizzie, she's in a car with some friends, there's loud music and all the passengers have a bottle in their hands, Lizzie has two, the one she doesn't drink from she offers to the driver, holding it to his lips so he can drink while steering. Then someone hands her something to smoke and her expression goes blank, like the one she had just now. The car swerves but the driver corrects his course and just laughs, but then he looses control, the car goes spinning off the road down a cliff or something. When it eventually stops I can see them all, most of the passengers are moving, moaning at their pain, but Liz is half in the back of the car and half in the front, there's blood oozing from her nose and I can't see her breathing.

My eyes blink a few times and focus on Sebastian standing in front of me, clicking his fingers and waving his hands "you okay?" He asks when he realises that I'm back. No, how could I be okay? The only friend I've made here and she's going to die, I can't even attempt to save her, a death like that... it was brutal, I couldn't push her back like I did Sebastian. Doctors were working on him, bringing him back was only half me, but she was in the middle of no where, no one was trying to save her because she was already dead.

I can't stop it either, if it's her time then she's going to die, maybe it was different with Sebastian, maybe his death wasn't written in stone. But, now that I've seen Liz's death, it's going to happen, there's no stopping it once it's been seen. How can I look at her? How can I sit next to her in classes without wanting to curl up and disappear? If I wasn't already dead I'm sure this would kill me.

There's a pang in my chest and my legs feel weak, I reach my hand out for Sebastian in attempt to stay off the floor. My hand is rested on his shoulder and my eyes are glued to the floor, I'm panicking, I feel an abundance of guilt and my whole body feels like it's weak, if I don't get control of myself I could slip out of my physical form, or into Limbo. So I concentrate on Sebastian, I can feel his breathing, his pulse in his neck, I close my eyes and count the beats, 1,2,3,4... 

"Raven?" Has he been talking to me? My mind focuses on my surroundings as I feel a state of calm wash over me. I remove my hand from his shoulder and straighten myself out.

I shake my head and smile weakly "yeah, yeah I'm fine, just low blood sugar is all"

He doesn't look like he believes me, he frowns as his eyebrows narrow "Raven... you're not breathing" my eyes run over his chest, you can see it moving with every breath, and then I look down at mine, it's still, I'm dead after all, why should I need to breathe? I usually just pretend, but I guess in my shock I wasn't thinking about keeping up pretences.

"I'm fine" I say through gritted teeth, tightening my grip on the strap of my bag. He says my name again in a worried tone, but I brush passed him before he can say anything else "I said I'm fine, Sebastian" oh boy am I in trouble.