Gravity

10

AUTHOR'S POV

It's been 3 weeks since Maine visited Rj's family and since then, the two barely communicated. They see each other almost everyday on the split screen since they're both in Eat Bulaga, him in Broadway and her at the barangay but they rarely meet outside of the show. Rj has been trying his best to adapt to having Maine again in his life but he feels that he's just trying too hard. The love is there but he knows in his heart that it's not the same as before. Maine felt the same. She's been contemplating that maybe they're still not ready to be together. She doesn't want to leave him again but she doesn't want to stay either, just for the sake of being together, knowing that doing so will hurt him eventually.

The distance was not helping them either. It's not just about the physical miles. In their hearts they know they're beginning to drift apart again. He's been busy with his own commitments and her as well, keeping up with her recent come back to showbiz.

Maine laid wide awake in her bed as she caressed the engagement ring placed on her necklace that Rj gave her. She's finding it hard to fall asleep the past few days, as she has not heard from Rj. He hasn't called or even texted her, the last time seeing him in the flesh being about a week ago. Her most recent update about him she just got from browsing her Twitter timeline. He's busy tending to his restaurant in QC.

She reached for her cellphone and opened her contacts, selecting Rj's name. Thinking twice, she pressed call. He answered after a few rings.

"Hello? Rj?"
"Maine?"
"Yup. Sorry, did I wake you?"
"Hindi naman. Kakauwi ko lang ng condo. Mama Ten just left."
"Oh okay."
"Is everything okay? Napatawag ka yata."
"Yup. I just miss hearing your voice. Bihira na kita makita eh."
"Pasensya ka na, busy kasi yung sched ko eh."
"Okay lang, Rj. Naiiintindihan ko naman. Sorry din if I haven't reached out that often."
"No worries."
"Rj?"
"Yes?"
"Can I come over?"
"Ha? Uhm, gabi na. Sigurado ka? Kung gusto mo ako na lang pupunta dyan."
"No, ako na lang."
"Anong meron?"
"I think we need to talk, Rj."
"Hmmm, I think so too, Maine."
"Sige, I'll be there in 30 minutes."

Maine hung up and quickly got ready. She grabbed her keys and drove to Rj's condo. She knocked and a tired Rj opened the door.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Can I come in?" Maine said, her voice broken.

"Of course."

Rj let her in and they sat beside each other on the couch, an uncomfortable distance of 1 foot separating them. They sat there in silence for a few minutes.

"Rj?" Maine started.

"Hmm?" Rj replied, his voice low.

"Are we, umm...are we okay?" She glanced at him, his face expressionless.

"Hindi ko alam, honestly."

"What's happening to us?"

"You tell me."

"Are we drifting apart again?"

"Bakit ako yung tinatanong mo niyan? Ikaw yung nagdecide na biglang hindi nanaman ako kausapin." His voice turned a pitch higher.

"Are you mad?" She turned to face him but he didn't move. He looked straight ahead.

"Tangina, hindi ko alam, Maine."

"I'm sorry. I know, kasalanan ko."

"I think we're just, we're not the same people anymore." His voice now broken, tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

"What do you mean?" Maine placed her hand on his but his formed a fist.

"I think, nagkamali tayo. Dapat hindi na tayo nagkabalikan." Tears now fell from his eyes.

She started crying too. "Rj.."

"Parang hindi pa tayo handa. At sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung magiging handa pa ako. Masyado akong nasaktan, Maine."

"Rj." She placed her face between her hands. "Hindi mo na ba ako mahal?"

"Maine." He cupped her face. "Mahal kita, sobra. Kaya nga ako nahihirapan."

"Hindi ko maintindihan."

"Hindi naman ako magkakaganito kung di kita mahal di ba? It's just, natutunan ko nang mabuhay ng wala ka. And having you back, just brings back all the painful memories."

"But that's why I'm here. To wipe away all those painful memories. I want to make new ones, happy ones."

"It's not that easy, Maine. Bigla na lang kasi tayong nagkabalikan. Parang hindi ako naka-adapt ka agad. I was just learning how to live without you, next thing I knew we were back together. Hindi na din ako ang Rj na nakilala mo dati. Iba na ako, Maine."

"Wala na ba talagang chance for us to work this out?" Her eyes were pleading.

"I don't know, Maine. But for now, I think I need space."

"Space? Won't that just drift us apart even more? I love you, Rj, and I want to be with you. Please, give me a chance."

"Pagbigyan mo na lang muna ako, Maine. Kailangan ko ng space at oras para makapag-isip."

The two grew silent, as they felt their hearts being broken over and ovrt again.

"Just give me tonight, Rj. I'll leave at dawn."