Don't you (forget about me) [Rafinha // Pjaca]

Decisions ~ Chapter 23

It's been two weeks since I kicked them out. Rafinha and Pjaca. It's the beginning of april now and I haven't been to Barcelona. Next to this I haven't worked for the Juventus Channel because good chosen shifts. It also means that I have neither talked to Rafinha nor Pjaca. Rafinha is texting me every once in a while telling me that he's sorry and that he's ready to talk about everything. I just can't.
I can't meet any of them when I haven't decided on whom I want to be with. The decision. I wish it was that easy. I'm laying awake every night and I think about the weirdest scenarios. I just can't decide. I know that I'm going to hurt one of them soooner or later.. and it breaks my heart.
Over and over again that one quote came into my head. If you're loving two persons at the same time choose the second one. If you really would've loved the first one the second person wouldn't exist.
Both of them have their pro's and con's. Rafinha is unbelievable jealous. Not jealous in a super protective way not letting me go out, but in a way that he gets upset because of other boys quickly. He should know that he is the one... if he was the one.
I remember the day Pjaca heard me telling Rafinha that I love him. He was sad but he didn't say anything. He never disesteemed me. He would give anything for me...he wants me so much.
As I looked through my phone I saw tons and tons of photos of me and Rafinha. It still feels the same. As if we are the 16 year old kids falling in love for the first time and over and over again every day. He was my one and only and I was his. His focus is on his career now. What if he doesn't want me anymore one day?
I saw Bruna standing with us on one of the photos. Bruna.. I haven't talked to her in forever.

Vittoria:
Hey...Did he tell y'all about it?"

Bruna:
Yes... And I don't think that it's correct to cheat...

...But I did the same with Neymar.. I don't judge you

Vittoria
Oh wow... I never knew.. 
How is he doing?

Bruna:
Well.. I think he's doing okay. He is out with the boys tonight. How are YOU doing? That's as important

Vittoria:.
I don't know. I have neither​ talked to Raf nor to Marko

Bruna:
Marko...Sexy name... Why don't you talk to him?

Vittoria:
He wants me to decide. And before you say anything: he's right. I have to decide. I'm just not sure.

Bruna:
Oh sweetheart :-(
As much as I want you here in Barcelona, I wont tell you to choose Rafinha. You have to know it for yourself. We all know that Rafinha can be hard to handle too.

Vittoria:
You'll still be my sister if i decide to be with Marko?

Bruna:
Damn girl, you could chose anyone but Neymar and you'd still be my sister! The most important thing is that you're happy.
People shouldn't think that Reunions always work out. Neymar and me, we were separated for two years. Compared to the six years that you and Rafa have been separated that's nothing! Choose who you think makes you happy. People might tell you that you're a bitch for leaving one of them...but when you really want the other one...You won't care. What feels wrong sometimes is not automatically wrong. It can be right.