Innocent

Fifteen

I stared at myself in the hospital bed and I shook my head. "They couldn't just let me die." I mumbled and sighed. I looked at the indention on my left ring finger from where my engagement ring normally sat and I sighed. I grabbed it off the bedside table that one of the nurses put it on before sliding the ring on and then I let my limp hand fall back on the bed.

Then I heard the clicking of heels. I bit my lip as I turned to see Regina come in. She walked over to sit beside the bed and she grabbed my left hand off it, caressing it softly.

"I see someone put your ring back on..." she said quietly. I bit my lip and nodded, even though I'm not actually here. "I miss you Emma. Henry misses you. He's angry with me. And he has a right to be. There's no excuse for what I did. But I don't want to talk about that right now.."

"I finished planning our wedding.." she said softly and my breathing hitched. She's been putting off wedding planning for... a damn long time. "I- I'll make any change you want when you wake up. Because I know you'll wake up. I just... i know that I can fix us." She said and her voice cracked.

I moved around the bed to sit beside her in the large chair and she looked at the spot I sat in, almost like she could sense I was there and I held my breath.

She looked back at my body and squeezed my hand, causing my heart monitor to speed up a little and she smiled but it faded just as quickly as it came. "I love you Em. I didn't cheat on you. She forced me to have sex with her and then made me believe I cheated no matter what the circumstances." She said sadly and I laid my hand on her thigh, wishing I could comfort her.

She looked down at her thigh and I hoped that somehow she would know it was me. She looked back at my body and watched the slow, steady rise and fall of my chest and then bit her lip.

"I...i don't know if it counts as rape since I have a dick, but it wasn't consensual. I'm back on my meds and I'm going to therapy. I'm so sorry my love." She said softly and I watched her face as tears streaked her gorgeously tan skin.

"It counts." I said, wishing she could hear and I frowned. "I love you Regina. So much." I said and leaned my head on her shoulder. "I love you Em. I miss you so much." She said, almost like she was replying and I closed my eyes.

"We're going to be here waiting for you until you wake up baby. We're not going anywhere."

---

"Good morning Regina." A nurse said as she came in to check Emma's vitals and her breathing. "Good morning." I said, not remembering which nurse this was. Today's November 13th. Monday.

I've been out of work since Emma was admitted. She still hasn't woken up. Doctors say it's normal. It can take years for people to wake up from comas apparently. I just miss her so much.

It's scary feeling like you're watching someone die and being completely unable to do anything about it. I love her more than anything. I feel so stupid. I never should've stopped taking my meds and I never should've pushed my family away.

I was upset because I missed our baby and Mallory swooped in to pounce when I was most vulnerable. I should've turned to Emma but I didn't. And I'll never know why.

"Mom?" I heard and I looked up to see Henry. He looks upset. "Baby what is it?" I asked and stood up, moving to caress his pale cheeks. "I'm scared." He said and his voice cracked.

I nodded and bit my lip. "Me too. But believe me. Mama's a strong woman. She's going to be okay." I said and ran my fingers through his hair. He nodded and hugged me tightly, burying his face in my neck and I rubbed his back.

"Stop getting so tall, my love." I mumbled and he snorted a laugh. "I don't know how to do that mom."

---

I stared at the ceiling and tried blocking out all thoughts and memories as a cannula forced oxygen into my body to keep me alive. I didn't want to live. She said I killed her... She said Henry wasn't my son...

I heard her heels on the tile floor and I closed my eyes for one last moment of calm. She walked in and sat by my chair like normal and then grabbed my left hand. "Hey." I rasped out, causing her to gasp and drop my hand.

"Emma?" She asked, her voice laced with shock and fear. I opened my eyes and turned to look at her. "It counts." I said, causing her to furrow her eyebrows. "What?" She asked, confused.

"Y-you said you didn't know if it counted as rape cause you had a dick. It counts." I mumbled, groggily and her eyes filled with tears. "Y-you heard that?" She asked and I nodded.

"I heard everything." I mumbled and her breathing shook. "You cheated on me. You dated her while I was at home with Henry or doing school work or whatever. I.. i know I'm not the same age as you. I didn't worry about the age difference. It never bothered me. But if you want to be with someone your own age.. fine. If you-"

She cut me off before I could continue. "I don't want to be with anyone else, Emma." She said, her voice cracking. "I'm going to prove that okay? I'm going to fix it. I love you so much and I've been fucking around these past few months because I've been sad but I'm done with that. You are the love of my life and I've been treating you so badly. Please just let me fix it." She begged with tears falling from her eyes.

I moved over in the bed and bit my lip. "Please hold me. Please." I said sadly and she quickly got in the hospital bed with me, pulling me into her arms. I melted into her as I started crying softly. She held onto me tightly and rubbed my back, my face buried in the crook of her neck.

"I'm so sorry Emma. I love you so much. I never meant to hurt you." She said, her voice pained and I nodded. "I love you. I'm sorry I killed her." I sobbed and she held me tighter.

"You did not kill her. Okay? That was an awful thing of me to say. Henry is our son and you know that. I'm so sorry my love. I never should've said that. There's no excuse or reason for that. It was horrible. I hope you can forgive me." She said meaningfully and I could hear the passion in her voice. I nodded.

"Of course I forgive you. I-I always will."