Exposed

Chapter Forty

I run my fingers over Matteo's chest slowly, lost in thought. We've been lying on the floor, limbs tangled together. His fingers are traveling in small circles over my back.

"I hate that you felt like you couldn't talk to me about this," I admit. "About work too."

After a moment, he breathes in. "Em."

I lay my palm flat on his chest. "It's hard for me to think about anything but him right now... and I know that's unfair to you. I know I'm always dazing off and—"

"I am not holding anything against you. I didn't tell you that story to try and make you feel bad." He looks down at me. "We've had a shit month and you're allowed to express your pain however you want, whenever you want. There's no time limit for grief."

"So why am I the only one who is allowed to go through it?"

He stares at me. "Em, I told you... I don't grieve the way you do."

"You're used to finding a way to forget," I say, nodding. "I get that but if you just... talked to me, told me what you're feeling, I would listen, Matteo. And it could help you stay away from alcohol."

"I wish it were that easy, Em," he replies, looking up at the ceiling. I place my cheek against his burning chest, closing my eyes.

"I wish we could just run away. Take Charles and run away from everything."

"Me too."

Matteo's phone suddenly rings and a shiver moves through me. I shiver every time a phone rings. Even though Charles is with us right now, it makes me cringe to think of what Eddie is doing with his night of freedom.

Matteo reaches above his head for his pants. He digs into the pocket and answers his cell just before it goes to voicemail.

"Hello?" He clears his throat. "No, it's fine. I'm awake. What do you need, Doug?"

I relax, surprisingly glad it's not Harold. Matteo remains quiet for a while before groaning. I look at him. "I can't do tomorrow, Doug. I'm going to an event at Emma's work... an anniversary. Doug, I haven't gone to a single one. Just tell them I can't."

"Can't what?" I ask.

"Dinner with the executives," he whispers, turning his attention back towards the phone. "Yes, she's with me. No, I'm not putting you on speakerphone."

I hold out my hand and Matteo reluctantly hands it to me, rolling his eyes.

"Hi, Doug," I say pleasantly.

"Em, can you please just tell him he can go to this? Like these guys control his career and you know, they're already pretty pissed off with him. I know being there for you takes precedence but..."

"I get it." I look at Matteo. "You should actually go to this. This dinner is important. You can go to another party with me some other time."

"Emma."

"I'm serious. If you want to repair things with them, you should go."

He sighs with defeat and I bring the phone back to my ear. "Text him when and where."

"You are a goddess, Emma. Thank you. I will." The relief in his voice is evident.

"Sure thing. Night, Doug." I hang up and place his cell phone into his stomach.

"Sorry," he says after a moment.

I shake my head, wrapping my hand around his waist. "It's okay. Those guys are important too."

"I've just recently noticed they're gigantic assholes, though."

"Sounds like it. Tell me about your shows. What's going on?"