Exposed

Epilogue

                                 One Year Later...

"I tracked down someone in Washington," Matteo whispers beside me out of the blue. In the dark confines of our bedroom, I turn my head towards him at the mention of Washington, a normally taboo subject for us. Charles is between us, fast asleep. "The woman that sent me the letter from Gwen, Cassie Miller... She's sending me Gwen's things."

My skin prickles. "Why do you want her things?"

"Because I think we should... well, I think we should begin thinking about telling Charles about her, reminding him. Just have a picture of her when we, you know, think of telling him."

Oh... This is news to me.

Matteo lays his hand on my round belly, extended wide in pregnancy. With my due date in only a week, we've both on edge. This conversation is even more uncomfortable, but it has to be addressed. I realize that. Charles needs to know who his mother was.

Matteo continues at my silence. "I just don't want it to sneak up on him when he's older. I don't want him to feel betrayed. And I don't want us to feel like we're hiding anything from him."

"I get it. Do you think he's ready for that?"

"I do. He starts kindergarten next year. I mean, Em, we are family to him. That's not going to change. It's not like we were strangers that just picked him from a foster home."

I nod to myself, but find it hard to answer him, feeling the blow of the circumstances. I know he isn't saying this to scare me. But, we've been so busy making sure Charles feels at home with us, and so busy preparing for the new baby, I haven't even really thought about telling him about his mother. The thought is an uncomforting one, simply because Charles is old enough to understand what we'll be telling him. I'll never be 'mummy' anymore... at least not in the sense I'm used to.

"What do you think about it?" he continues, uncomfortably trying to get me to speak.

I exhale. "Well, I'm nervous... but I know we have to do it."

"You can say whatever you want, Emma. You are his mother too," Matteo presses.

"He won't see me that way anymore."

"Of course he will, Em. He's still a child."

I nod, unconvinced. With Charles warm breath against my arm, I am terrified by the possibilities. Matteo lifts my hand to his lips, kissing my palm tenderly.

"I'm not saying immediately but sometime soon. We will tell him that we are still his parents. That's not changing. Nothing's changing."

"Okay." I glance down at the little boy between us. "He's doing alright though, right? He seems happy?"

"He really loves you, Emma."

I smile at the words that warm my heart. I love him too. "Have you thought about any more baby names?"

"Um, Gertrude."

I sputter, laughing into my hand. I practically hear Matteo's smile. "Oh yeah? Gertrude?"

"Mhm."

"And if it's a boy?"

"Cornelius."

I bite my lip. "You're ridiculous."

I feel a bump against the side of my belly. Matteo should feel it too.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to that," he confesses softly. I nod, agreeing. "I think she likes your snorting."