With Love, Diana ✅

Dear Nick,

Dear

Nick,

Surprise! I am not dead. I am in hiding, but don't tell anyone, alright?

Buzzinga! That was a joke, dumbass. I am writing this before going to the other side. A sick joke, I know but I was never really good with kidding to begin with. But bae, please don't cry. You are the only one I feel bad about leaving. 'Cause I know this must hurt you.

But Nicky I couldn't go on anymore. I know I could've confided in you. I should've. But I just didn't want to pull you into this mess too. You are the only constant in my life and I need you to stay untainted.

Corny as it sounds, when we hang out it's like I don't have any problems anymore. You are my childhood, adolescence, puberty, teenage, all rolled in one. 'Cause never have I ever spent a happy memory without you and I don't want my bad moments to overshadow them.

So remember them when you go to my memorial/burial/funeral and I want you and only you to write my eulogy. Nobody else should go up and tell people how amazing I am, 'because they have no right. But you do and if your sucky writing skill kills the emotions in the speech, I will haunt you forever.

And don't worry about losing a best friend. You can come to my grave anytime you want and ask me for advice and I promise I will find a way to deliver it to you. You know, I can literally feel you scoffing at this sentence.

Hay, remember when that cheerleader bitch, Stacy left you and you were convinced that you would never be able to date again because she had smashed your heart into pieces? I still remember the advice I gave you, when you were still in mourning about your 'lost love'.

"To get over someone you need to get under another." And it was great advice, mind you!

Don't laugh. It has helped you so many times since then.

Oh! I just remembered! My last night before starting high school, we were having a sleepover so I wouldn't have a nervous breakdown and we ended up pulling an all-nighter. That was the best! You received detention the first day of your sophomore year for sleeping through English. And I slept through history, nothing special. You wouldn't speak to me the whole week because you blamed me for ruining your first impression with the teacher. So I had to do your Calculus homework for you to forgive me. Those were good days, weren't they?

Hey Nicky? I know you are crying. Don't. Please. Think of all those times you helped me. Those days when you kicked your friends to the curb so that I wouldn't feel lonely as a freshman? I love you for that. That time you skipped a date to comfort me because I just heard mom and dad were getting a divorce? I wish everyone had a best friend like you. Because without you, the rumors would've gotten to me. You were – still are – the only thing standing between me and the Diana the whole school thinks they know.

So I give you the permission to gloat over all the times you've helped me. Revel in the amazing best friend you were. But don't lose sleep over missing me. You deserve better than me hogging all your time anyway.

And Nicholas? Stop blaming yourself. It wasn't your fault. You are the reason I stuck around so long.

Also, despite what I have been saying all week, Hanna is a nice girl. You two deserve each other.

Oh! Just so you know, I love you. And nobody can replace you as a best friend. I hope your friends know how lucky they are.

With love,

Diana

P.S – Sorry for the ink blots. I couldn't stop crying.