STARTING OVER

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BUSAN, YONGHO-DONG

People said it's very hard to change an old habit. That is true.

At first, I thought my life will be better without them.

Well, at least I'm not gonna have to face you and Minhyun.

But that was wrong.

That's really really wrong!

I made some mistakes since I arrived back at my parents house.

I mistakenly calling my own hyung as Aron-hyung. Then, when I went out to buy dinner, I bought 5 hamburgers, one without tomato because you hate tomato.

On the way back home, I just realized that I'm not with them anymore so why did I bought 5 hamburgers?

My father scold me when he found out I keep on checking at my appearance, using several skincare products and makeups.

He said I should act more like a boy and forget those skincare products.

But I just can't.

I must stay pretty.

I must take care of my appearance.

Then, suddenly, when I'm on day-off after helping my aunt at her cafe, I got a rather shocking news.

JR got injured during rehearsal.

As soon as I saw that news, I grabs my phone, but I forgot that I changed my phone, I don't have their numbers anymore.

I'm really worried about you.

How are you now?

Did you got hospitalized?

Should I come to Seoul and check on you?

But that will makes me feels like I'm betraying my own words.

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I spent today just lying on my bed, checking out some sites on my phone, just to know that you are okay now.

Some news said you have to sit down and take a rest, but knowing you, I'm sure you won't do that.

I remembered the moment when you got a fever but still come to the dance rehearsal then collapsed after the rehearsal.

You always makes me worry and I hate it.

I take a look at the hamster doll that we used to play before.

I missed you so much now.

I used to hear your voice everyday, see your face, your smile, your laugh.

But I'm really afraid, seeing you now as one of the young rising star.

You achieved our dream faster than anyone on the group.

Maybe if I act like your fans, I wouldn't have this jealous feeling?

I really want to shine like you.

Although I knew I would never beat your charm.

However, hearing people saying that I'm not worth for you and the rest of the group makes me feel more desperate.

Well, you won't know about my feeling now. I shouldn't feel down anymore.

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I decided to take a walk, I need to get a fresh air, otherwise I'll spend my time thinking about you again.

It's not good.

If I keep thinking about you, remembering our times together, I'll ended up wanting you more than before.

Although sometimes I really want to walk alone like this but it makes me bored, so I decided to come back.

That's when I see someone familiar on the street near my house.

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"What are you doing here?" Despite saying how much I missed him and the others, I let my ego talks.

"Oh, you are here. I came to your house but your mother said you are going out somewhere." The person is Hwang Minhyun.

If he's here, the others might be here too.

"Just go back already. I'm not the member of the group again." I walk fast passing him.

He must be here to persuade me to go back to Seoul.

What for? To watch him getting closer and closer to the one that I love?

"Is it because of me?" Minhyun follows me.

That's right. It's all because of you.

You and JR.

Why both of you keep bothering my life?

"I'm really sorry. I don't mean to make you feel depressed."

"I'm not depressed anymore." I take a faster steps, keep staring at the ground so I can't face Minhyun until I bumped into someone in front of my house.

"Oh, hyung, I'm sorry." I thought it's my hyung, but the moment when I raise my head, it feels like time already stop.

I can't say anything, neither do you.

Yeah, you, Kim Jonghyun.

The one that I've been missing so bad these days.

"Why are you here?" I finally let out the same question that I asked Minhyun before.

"How can you just leave without telling anything to me? How can you not saying anything to your group leader?" Here comes your sulking.

"It's not important." I stare at your hand who still holding a crutch. "You shouldn't be here."

There's a moment of awkwardness in the air until my mother comes out.

She told me that both you and Minhyun just arrived from Seoul to see me.

She notices that we need to talk so she told Minhyun to come with her while she left me with you.

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