Lend Me Your Shoulder [ JREN ]

MY BREAKDOWN

You are always shines out everywhere you go.

I've known you ever since we're 15, and now we're almost reach our 20 years old, yet you always stay the same.

At least to me, you are always the same Kim Jonghyeon that I've known before.

You always care for the other member of our group.

You are an otaku, always going crazy with anime and manga, that everytime we have an opportunity to go to Japan, you always go to Akihabara, so you can buy those action figures that you likes and go to the maid cafe.

Yeah, you are the same Kim Jonghyeon that always makes me laugh with your silly act, your silly dance, and your jokes.

Everyone loves you, because you have everything.

Everything that can make you 'the perfect and ideal boyfriend'.

You are smart, funny, handsome, you got a great dance skill, you have a beautiful eyes, nice attitude, a caring person and that charming smile.
Who can resist that smile anyway?

I remember when we go out together, the store clerk can't keep her eyes away from you and the moment when you smile, she looks like she's in heaven.

While everyone keep on saying that I'm very pretty, you can easily capture their heart with just a smile.

Like now.

It breaks my heart to see you doing that perform alone, on the different part of the stage, without me.

But you shines out.

Your smile looks bright.

And I already know my place the moment when I see you stand on the stage like that.

You're gonna be famous without us.

You're gonna be bigger without us.

You're gonna be great, amazing talented star.

And I'm just a burden on your shoulder.

I got tears on my eyes now as I take my cellphone and send a message in the group chat.

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CHATROOM

REN: guys, I need to tell you something

.....................

Aron: what is it, Rennie?

Baekho: yeah, what's wrong? Do you need someone to accompany you to the hairstylist again?

REN: No, it's not that. I really need to tell you what's on my mind right now. I feel like I can't handle it anymore.

Minhyun: what is it? Just tell us, we'll be glad to help you.

................

REN: where's JR?

Baekho: probably playing a game.

Minhyun: he's playing a game right now. I think.

Aron: Ren, just tell us what's going on. Maybe you can feel better after that.

REN: okay. Guys, I want to get out from the group.

.................

Baekho: WHAT????

Aron: it's a joke, right?

Minhyun: why?

REN: I can't continue like this. Maybe I should leave the group. I will comeback to Busan and start over my life. Don't worry, I'll keep in touch with you guys. See you later :)

Minhyun: Ren, wait! You can't just leave us like that!

Baekho: Ren-ah, it's not funny! Come on, what's wrong with you?!

REN has leave the group chat

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I might be stupid.

I know, I got too emotional lately when I think of you.

I just wondering how can I love you so much like this, that I can't think anymore about anything except you.

And the more I try to forget you, the more your image invading my mind.

I just can't stand it!

Why I love you so much, JR?!

Why you're the only one that makes me falls so deep in this thing called love?

Why you and not someone else?

I click back at my phone, staring at the news when they posted your latest stage act, with your dazzling smile.

Your smile, your face, your appearance, you shines brighter than anyone else.

But you're so out of reach.

I must forget about you.

My place is not by your side anymore.

I have to face the reality that my existence is none other than just a pretty boy.

A cute pretty boy that can sing and dance.

I'm not Aron-hyung who's smart and can speak English so well, I'm not Baekho who's really genius in terms of making music, I'm not Minhyun who have a great voice.

I'm just like a doll.

Maybe those people were right.

I'm not supposed to join with you guys.

I'm sorry I just realized it now.

Another news notification arrived at my phone.

After last night performance in our college event , two big agency said they are interested with the next rising star, Kim JR.

See?

They even put a title 'the next rising star' beside your name.

We are there too, although we're standing in the different part of the stage, but you and Minhyun are the best in our group.

Both of you always looks good together and that always makes me feels envy to Minhyun.

At first, I'm happy that he join our little group, because he's from Busan too.

But then, I realized that you are interested with him.

You're getting closer to him, laughing together with him, talking about the things that matters in your mind to him.

And after the stage last night, the one that you came to after perform is Minhyun.

Not me.

I'm the second, no, probably the last thing on your mind.

I still remember that everytime anyone asks about how to maintain our friendship, we always said we never lie to each other.

But that is a lie.

We're hiding our secret, about our feeling.

I'm deeply in love with you, but you're in love with Minhyun, while Aron-hyung likes Minhyun too. Baekho likes me, but I just think of Baekho as my brother.

Our group has this complicated relationship thing and none of us try to make it clear about our feeling.

We always hide about it, although it's really as clear as ice to me that all the affection you gives to me simply because you'll feel uneasy to reject or ignored me.

I'm hopelessly in love with you, I tried to hug you but the one that you hug really tight is Minhyun.

And that breaks my heart so bad.

I guess you'll never notice my feeling for you.

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