This entire story, starts months before the story actually started to happen. It's about this girl, a girl that proved to be my medicine. Everything I needed to be able to realize the wrongs I had done In my past.
It all starts in the summer before school opened for my final year. My Mum had just passed on from Colon Cancer, the exact same cancer my dad has passed on from eight years earlier. It hadn't really hit me yet, I still subconsciously believed that she was in her bedroom reading her book, she had this thing about reading Mills & Boon. With all the drama that was taking place, I made a few posts on Facebook and Instagram just highlighting what had just happened in my life. Not long after, lots of girls saw the opportunity to approach me with sympathy. Now I was the typical fat kid in primary school, I didn't get any female attention, so suddenly having an influx of girls trying to contact me was a shock. I took advantage of the first girl that texted me, her name was Terra. Terra seemed nice, so I jumped into the opportunity, texting her everyday, getting to know her, what someone would do if they were looking to be with this girl. But not long after, the funeral happened. I had a collection of my friends at the funeral, and well yes some of them were girls, generally just friends of my friends. So I decided to change my picture on a lot of social media platforms to honor her and my father, so my profile picture changed from a 3 year old picture of a fat kid, to a recent photo of me at the funeral, saying my goodbye. This dragged even more attention, but I decided to just focus on Terra, a few weeks went by, and the attention died down, and me and Terra were still talking about as much.
About exactly a month later after the funeral, my aunt decided to take me to some church event, my mum was like the ultimate christian, while she was alive, I went to bible study twice a week and was an active member of the church, always leading something or helping. So after the event, I was about to jump into the car to wait for my aunt to take me back home, but I noticed a girl I used to know. Her name was Wendy, I used to know her in primary school, she was probably the meanest girl I knew, I remember one time I sat next to her in Math and she looked at me and said ugh, with a look of disgust on her face. We got together, started talking, we actually were hitting it off, and not long after her mum came to get her, it turns out her mother and my mum used to be in the same choir. So once she realized who I was, she immediately asked about my mum. To which I broke to her the news. She was devastated, and insisted that she come over and just spend some time with us, us being me and my sister. In my mind I was thinking that would be nice to be able to spend a few hours with Wendy. So I got her number and we planned this day, and she mentioned she wanted to come with a few other of the girls we were in primary with, and I didn't think much into it and just agreed. She came over, with the other girls and their parents, I hung out with the girls, and my sister hang out with their parents. However, one of the girls, Zara, she was always so nice to me. We hit it off, it was amazing. I got her number and we started talking. She was fixated on getting fit and I am a pro at the gym, I had to start going to the gym to lose all the weight, so I knew a thing or two. We agreed on a date, and met up. It was fun, on my way back home I couldn't help but think that Zara might really like me. I got home, texted Terra, Wendy and of course Zara. About a week later, a sports event was happening, one of those that you just really attend if your playing or want to meet a couple of girls. I met up with a few of my mates, and I decided I was feeling really confident and challenged one of my friends to see who could get the most numbers in a day. Of course I got destroyed, but while doing it, I met this girl called Nicole. I texted Nicole, started off really friendly, I didn't have anything else planned for us. Eventually one thing lead to another, and she just got me. I started to really like her. So I came to a decision, I would stop trying to get Wendy, and tell Terra I am not ready. However with Zara, I told her we should meet up again, just as friends, hoping she'd get the message, and the friendship would carry on. I met up with Zara, and seemed she didn't get the message, she was still throwing loads of hints, but I just pretended I didn't notice anything. Two days after that, school started, after the long summer holiday, it was good to get back and meet up with my mates. I was especially happy to see my best friends, Mabel and Morgan. I have a few more best friends, but those are the only two that matter in this particular story. Mabel had recently become my best friend over the summer because she and I discovered that we just had too much in common, it was so much we couldn't see each other ever getting together. Morgan had been my best friend since his first day.
I said hey to both of them, we all drifted off to our classes and had a pretty decent day. However, there was this new girl, Whitney. She seemed cool, but I was in no hurry, I was getting really serious about Nicole. The next weekend I met up with Nicole and had an amazing day, its actually an amazing story, a few people in my class had planned to meet up at the mall and watch a movie, so I went over to my friends house to be able to transport. My friends aunt dropped us off at the mall, which was ironically a five minute walk away from Nicole's house, where we were supposed to meet up. I gave it about an hour, a few people gathered, Mabel and Morgan were both there, I told both of them I'm headed out to see a friend and I'll be back later in the evening. I ran from the mall to Nicole's house to meet up. We had a lot of fun, we made out, something I have a record of doing on my first dates. We connected almost immediately. I went home and well from there, we were something, I hadn't yet asked her to be my girlfriend. Originally she insisted we can't officially be anything until we meet up. Once we had met up, it became more or less of an immediate effect. The problem came about when I had to head back to the mall, in order to not get caught, but Nicole refused, she made me stay and spend more time together. This happening, my friends aunt called me from the mall, asking why she couldn't find me, and I had to come up with some silly excuse about getting left in the toilet, and not being able to find everyone else. I left her and ran back to the mall, hoping to god my excuse would work. Undoubtedly, my excuse worked, however I saw this as an opportunity to get sometime to think about what I want with Nicole, so I told her I was caught and was getting grounded for the next week. She called me later, to apologize, I was quite pissed off to be honest, so I told her its okay, and we'd just have to wait out the next few days.
During the week, Zara texted me asking if we could meet up over the weekend, and just chill rather than go to the gym. I said cool, it would a good idea to get an idea of my options. So I met up with her, now that I considered this a date, we made out. The date finished, we had a good time, but once I got home, it started to hit me what I had just done. So I called a friend to ask what I should do, and he said I should just forget about her, and focus on Nicole. So that night I called Zara and told her I'm sorry about what happened and didn't see a future for the two of us. She sounded heart broken, but at the time I didn't care. I just wanted it to be over and forget that it had ever happened. So me and Nicole started our thing on a good note, we would talk everyday after school, it was just perfect. Now I realize that she was what I need. Anyway, the girl Whitney from school I had mentioned earlier, had started to grow feelings for me. We'd sit together during all our Physics lessons and just talk, get to know each other, and have fun. It worked out well, because for the first two weeks, we didn't have a physics teacher, so physics lessons were more or less just free periods. In this time, it had given Whitney the idea that I was falling for her. She told me how I feel about her, and I was puzzled, I couldn't believe that this was happening. I told her I needed to think. I decided that it would be easier to just forget it happened, if I didn't say I didn't feel the same way she'd never feel rejected. Honestly I had the best intentions, I didn't want anything bad to happen to her. So I continued living, spending my school day with Whitney, and after school with Nicole.
It looked like it was all going to work out, until one day it hit me, I was starting to like Whitney. This was a problem, because me and Nicole had planned to meet up, and I was supposed ask her to be my girlfriend during that time. So I was faced with a dilemma, try and pretend these feelings don't exist and become Nicole's boyfriend, or end things with Nicole, and try to get Whitney. I made a decision, one that I regret. I decided to end things with Nicole, and instead of telling her the truth, I told her that I just wasn't ready for a relationship, and when I'm ready she'd be first in line, she cried, I didn't care again. I went to school the next day to tell Whitney how I feel to see her with my best friend Morgan.
