Relief

Chapter five

Here's the update:D I've worked pretty hard on this chapter and I think its pretty good, please give feedback and vote!:)

P.S I mention the bakery harry use to work at in this chapter and I know there in London and the bakery is in Holmes Chapel but just go along with it? thanks

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That one moment of ultimate bitterness when you wake up to a cell phone echoing in your ear and your still wearing last nights shoes. It was Mckayla, she was probably mad that I didn't call her yesterday but I don't really care right now. As soon I pick up she's already screaming in my ear.

"I called you like thirty times last night! Why didn't you pick up! I had a date and I needed advice. I am beyond pissed right now! But oh the date was just amazing! You would be so proud!" She squealed at the end after taking a deep breath. She said so much I don't know what to process.

"What happened?" were the first words that I could form, still in my half asleep state.

"You would know that had you picked up and why do you sound drunk or should I say hungover? Don't tell me you went out partying last night! You promised me you wouldn't do that as much when you moved to London. Ryann I thought it was getting better!"

God it felt like there was a burning house sitting on my head putting immense amounts of pressure on my skull. I'm barely functioning right now and all this interrogating is not what I want to be doing at this moment.

"I am better Mckayla. I went out one time and there wasn't anything wrong with me in the first place." Okay that second part may be a lie, for a while I did party a lot and not really care about anything, especially myself. but I wasn't lying when I said I'm better.

"That's BS, you and I both know it! Don't try to lie to me, because I know that you weren't fine, but just promise me your better?"

She's right, she, Alex , an Lizzy were there for everything and every phase I went through.

"Kay" it came off more as a question then I intended it to.

"Yes, Ry?"

"Kay, he moved here as well. He's going to the same uni." I softly whisper.

I hear her swift intake of breath as she realizes who I'm talking about , then the line fell silent.

"Ryann I understand how hard this will be for you but promise me, you won't let go yourself again? I can't stand to see him ruin you twice. The mere thought makes me want to fly to London, hug you, then shamelessly beat the crap out of him if I could. But I can't, so I need you to be strong, for me?"

I'm nodding along to myself as I listen to her rant. I agree completely. He will not destroy me over. I will not let him get under my skin again.

"Okay. Bye Kay love you."

"Love you too, stay true to yourself." with that I hang up.

After the talk with Kay I feel more relaxed (besides my killer headache) just speaking to her brings me a sense of relief to life. I'm no longer stressed about... Zayn. Even in my head its hard to think about his name, gosh he really was (hence the word was) under my skin. But that won't happen again.

As I'm the only one awake and can't go back to bed now, I jump in the shower and try to scrub every last worry away, the fragrances and steam filling the air. After I can no longer stand the heat I shut off the water and walk back to my room. I stand in the mirror looking at my flaws. I hate my thighs and stomach. But I love my eyes and thick black hair. I really could use another tattoo soon. I have six right now each with backstories. But I think I should get one to represent starting new in London. People say tattoo's are destroying and hiding your body and they are sin's. I see them as a way to express yourself through art. People admire art, so why should it be considered different when placed on an arm? If anything it should have more meaning and depth. It makes people different, which makes me admire the people who do dare to go outside the 'rules' of society and express themselves, and no one can tell me I can't be a masterpiece.