Relief

chapter four

When we get back to the flat I ignore Lizzy and Alex and start to clean the place. Within two hours I have the entire place spotless. I've unpacked my bags, decorated my room with my pictures, made my bed, vacuumed, and sprayed everything with febreeze. Obviously the last owners smoked because you could smell the stench on the walls. I make sure not to overthink anything yet, I don't even know if I will see him. I normally never have so much bottled up anger, so its easier to calm myself. But I still feel so worked up! Literally it was radiating from every corner of my body and if I see him I'm not exactly sure there's any possibility of a decent outcome; one where he comes out unhurt. Its not like I haven't heard his name over the past couple months since that night, but I never spoke to him after that night and I surely never spoke of him. But I think I was just startled and beyond pissed that he came all the way to fricken' London. When I told him to stay away the night I ended everything. The night I stopped excepting the pain he inflicted on me and stared fighting back. the night I grew up.

I can't sit here and allow myself to reopen wounds I pushed far away, long ago. So I did what I used to do when the wounds were still very present, I drew him. Drawing clears my mind, especially when I have so many questions and thoughts roaming my hectic mind. I grabbed a cup of tea and turned up my Ed Sheeran soundtrack. Then I started on his haunting, amber eyes, going over every lash adding detail to every different shade of color in his pupils. Then the bridge of his nose, spending more time on every detail the I probably need. Only adding color to his full pink lips and enticingly devil eyes. After each feature was drawn to my liking, I started on the hair and his face structure. ensuring that I had made every part of his quiff, the yellow streak , and his prominent jaw bone covered in his five O' clock shadow.Even after all this time, I never ceased to remember every bit of his face.

I sat there staring at my work, humming along with 'kiss you', allowing my nerves to calm somewhat. Although it was unsettling how he had marked his face in my head forever. Even when I had 'forgotten' about him. I knew his presence was just lingering in the back of my head waiting for a need to resurface.

I shut off my music and head into the living room. I sit down on the couch next to Alex lost in thought, when my mind wanders to what were doing for dinner. As we didn't have a lunch none of us have eaten since breakfast. We really need to go grocery shopping.

"Sorry for ignoring you guys, love you." I weirdly break the silence. Lizzy says its fine but we should go out tonight. From Alex's facial reaction I can tell that he's all for it. I nod my head, I definitely could use a night out. Even though collage starts Monday it wouldn't hurt to have a couple drinks. nothing to crazy.

Lizzy and Alex cheer and stand up to get ready;i follow in suit and walk to my closet.

Which dress to chose, its such a tough decision. That is until I remember my new black floral dress with ruffles sticking out the bottom and goes to mid-thigh. I wear a thick studded black belt under my boobs, a simple necklace gold necklace thst sits right above my dress, and my black pumps. I walk over to my dresser ,put my earings in and pull out my curling iron, While waiting for it to heat up I start applying my foundation. Then I curl my eyelashes and put on thick masquera. Finished with my eyes I start on my hair.

When we go out to a club its litterally the only time that I would wear a dress, like ever. I would wear shorts but they stick to me and I can't dance right,its just so much easier to dance in a dress.

I grab my phone and shove it in my bra along with some cash. I walk to the livingroom to find Alex in jeans and a black shirt and Lizzy in a short royal blue cocktail dress and baige heels. She looks stunning, but thats nothing new she can pull off anything. But it takes me forever to find something I like that doesn't make my hips look wide. They were both looking at Alex's phone, and didn't notice my presence.