ROSE WATER || jerrie thirlwards

CHAPTER 9

JADES P.O.V

I left Perrie alone at the dinner table. I ran to the bathroom and locked the door. She couldn't see me like this.

My belly was swollen from the food, since I had eaten today, I usually don't eat so whenever I do my stomach swollen up and I look even fatter than usual.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror over the faucet. Why am I so ugly? How could Perrie want someone who looked like me? I'm fat, stupid, childish etc. No one loves me, I don't deserve love. I don't deserve Perrie.

Perrie is perfect, not fat at all and still got the curves that everyone loves. Her ocean blue eyes that anyone can fall deeply into and her blonde curly hair. Me? My chocolate brown eyes looks like poop and my wavy brown hair was always greasy. My stomach was one big fat pillow and still do I now own any curves at all.

I looked over to the shower, inside of an empty shampoo bottle laid the blazer, my best friend. The blazer was always there for me, even when I didn't want it...

I bent down and opened the empty bottle of shampoo. I grabbed the blazer tightly, the pain would help me.

The blazer hit my skin, the pain quickly spread through my body. I let out a deep moan before cutting once more. Two was enough for this time... I placed the blazer back in the empty bottle and placed it where the other shampoo bottles were.

I washed the blood away under the sink, I thought I was satisfying to watch the water turn red. After a while – when the blood had stopped – I dried my arm with a towel. I took a look in the mirror, yep I felt the need I always felt after eating. I needed to get the food out of my body.

I swung the toilet lid open and bent over. I took a deep breath before I pressed my index and middle finger to the back of my throat. My fingers made me make those weird sounds you do before puking. I made myself ready for the warm liquor to come out of my mouth.

But before the liquor came out I heard hard knocks on the bathroom door, PERRIE?!

"JADE?!"

Fuck! She heard me!

PERRIES P.O.V

"ARE YOU OKEY! LET ME IN!" my voice were shaky, why was I so scared, she might just have eating something bad...

"I'm fine Perrie!" she didn't convince me, I needed to hug her to know she was alright.

"Let me in baba! I need to hug you." I tried to sound calmer than last time but it didn't work, I still sounded worried and scared.

"Pezz trust me I'm fine!" She wouldn't let me in, and the made me even more worried, what if something was really wrong with her!

"Well Jade I'm coming in somehow!" I didn't care, I needed to see her, and it was now!

I went back to the kitchen before I could hear Jade saying against me. I grabbed a knife from the kitchen drawers and made my way back to the bathroom door.

"Jade open the door now or I will break it open..." I gave Jade on last chance but she didn't take it, so I grabbed the knife tightly. I used it as a screwdriver and gently screw the locker up and when the door flew open I ran towards Jade and hugged her tighter than ever.

"Are you okay!?" She nodded into my shoulder before she broke down in tears, she was not okay...

I led her out to her room I made the both of us sit in her bed. She laid down with her head on my thighs, I massaged her head gently. If she wanted to talk about it she needed to be ready, I didn't want to force her to say anything.

After 10 quiet minutes Jade decided to talk.

"I've got something to tell you..." I smiled down at her.

"You can tell me anything." She gave me a weak smile.

"Promise not to leave me."

"Why would I-" she gave me a serious look. "I promise."

"I've always been bullied, even before you started." God, those word created a lump in my throat and my stomach started to ache.

"People, umm... They called me... Fat."

She straitened body so she sat next to me, I grabbed her hand.

"I didn't care at first, but then, then it got worse. At lunch they would always judge me for what I ate. I ate less and less each day but they were never happy by what amount I ate so I stopped eating lunch." She took a pause, I saw the tears building up in her golden chocolate eyes.

"Well... I still ate at home. But they kept bullying me, and call me fat. I ate less and less at home too. My mom started to worry a little bit but I just told her I ate a lot to lunch" Jades voice broke at the end and a tear escaped her eye.

"My plan was to become skinny – like they wanted me to be. But they never stopped."

Jade once again took a pause just to breath and calm herself.

"Then... Umm... You came into my life. I fell for you instantly, I couldn't help it. I adored you, you were my definition of pretty. And I look nothing like you. Then you started beating me. I realized how blind I was. But I still wanted you to be mine."

I felt the tears building up in my own blue orbs.

"So I kept not eating and... I started to harm myself – with a blade. I made a new one each day, they all were supposed to make me realize that you didn't like me back."

The tears escaped my eyes.

"Then we started talking, we ate lunch together. But I thought you were faking everything like a prank."

I squished her hand.

"I kept cutting, but since we always eat lunch together I couldn't throw away all my food, so whenever class started I asked to go to the bathroom – where I threw up my lunch again..."

"Why didn't you tell me Jade, I want to help you."

"Because, I was scared of what you would think about me."

"Baba, I don't think anything different about you, I love you."

Oh no! Did I just say that "I love you" I'm too fast, she's going to leave me now... I am so stupid.

Jade hugged me tight and quietly cried into my chest. Between her sobs I hear that she was trying to say something.

"I love you too." It came out as a whisper, but I didn't care, we just confessed our love for each other and I couldn't be happier.

After a few minutes of Jade crying into my chest and me smiling like an idiot she pulled away. Jades brown eyes were filled with sadness yet a little bit of happiness.

"I need help." Those three words kept repeating my head. How could I – Perrie Edwards help her?

"I will be by your side, forever." Jade gave me a weak smile. Gosh her smile. That one and only smile could light up a whole city when it's dark. 

A/N 

I'm sorry that this chapter is one day late... 

IDK HOW TO THANK YOU GUYS 1K READERS! REALLY!? IM SHOOK ASF! ASDFGHJKL!! I just want to thank you all for reading my fanfiction i love you all so so so so much!!!! <33333