When I Joined the Dork Side

Chapter Five

When the bell for second period rang, I mustered as much confidence and sass as possible. Today, I had decided to walk in earlier and show them who was boss. What was the point of being popular if you couldn't use it? Strength didn't just come in numbers, with confidence I was unstoppable.

The girl - who I believed was named Ashley - was already inside the classroom powering on a desktop computer. I didn't hesitate at the door this time. Instead, I imagined I was walking into the cafeteria like always; with Belle and Kristy behind me and Jeff at my side.

"Get out of my way!" I snarked for no reason (she was sitting quietly at a desk a fair ways away from the door) but unpredictability was the key to my power.

I looked at her; waiting for her to cower or apologize in a low muttered voice, but she didn't. Peculiarly, her lips formed into a smug smile. Like she knew something that I didn't; something juicy. As soon as the possibilities that warranted Ashley's smile started flooding my brain, I shut it down. I wasn't going to let insecurities ruin my aura of confidence and power! If I was going to get through the next few months in this class, I needed to show them who was in charge and soon.

There was still a few minutes before class began but I slid my purse off of my shoulder and took a seat where I had the day before. Within moments, Rodger, Maisy and the rest of the class walked in. I was ready to put my strategy in action but something, in the pit of my stomach, screamed in protest. Just like Ashley, they were all smirking. It was as though they were all in on some joke. Some joke that they didn't want to share with me; at least not now anyway. I felt my palms become slick with sweat as a tidal wave of nerves flooded my body, what was going on?

Discarding my old strategy, I remained silent and tried to go unnoticed as everyone took their usual seats. I felt their eyes boar holes into me like bullets through a dummy and I rubbed my hands on my lace mini skirt as my face started to turn red. I'll admit, I hated this feeling; of being helpless and out of control. I prided myself on being a leader, the one who created the trends and controlled what everyone else did. Contrary to my current situation, it made me feel at ease; as though nothing could go wrong as long as I was steering the ship.

Suddenly, I decided to cut the crap. I couldn't take it any longer. The feeling was making my skin crawl with a hundred centipedes that were slowly burying me alive.

"What are you losers all laughing at." I demanded, not bothering to pose it as a question.

From the left of me, James snorted. It was loud and cocky; it filled me with rage.

"That's not how it works nerd. I asked a question and you tell me." When he didn't respond, I ventured further. "I'm sure Jeff won't mind having to give a few more whirlies." I said the threat in my usual honey sweet voice.

"Who you calling the nerd?" James quirked an eyebrow at me and I felt my heart palpitate as I saw the next few moments play out through my mind. They knew and there was no way to undo or change what they knew. It was collateral damage and irreversible. Instantaneously, all of my pep talks and confidence was hurtled out of me by pure fear. I didn't know how to respond but the growing silence was only making him smugger.

I swivelled my chair to face him directly, leaning my arms against the table. "Well, that depends on what you know." Maybe this really was all nothing; maybe they were bluffing and my fears were just distorting it - making it bigger than it really was.

And then the bomb struck me in the form of a laptop screen. "Look familiar?" James turned the laptop to face me. On display was every secret that I had been keeping in for the past three and a half years. Next to my eighth grade photo was a list of my grades (entirely straights As) and all the nerdy summer camps I attended. They knew everything and, most of all, they knew they struck gold.