Magicians Suck

Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Anti Ah Curry

In Chapter 4, High Lord Akkarin "kidnapped" Miyuki and Kitty to the Magicians' Guild and offered them a place there just because he mistook them to have magical potential due to the Ichani incident. Miyuki and Kitty protested strongly and once they stepped into the Guild, those verbal pranks on the Guild members start! But these teasing words they hurl at the Guild are only the beginning of their pranks.

Akkarin stared at the two girls in disgust as they ate their breakfast, their legs resting on the table. When they saw him looking at them, they stopped eating.

"Why aren't the two of you eating?" he asked.

Miyuki replied, "Who can eat after seeing that face of yours? You look like someone owe you a billion dollar. Ah Curry, your devil house got games or not? I want to play Angry Bird."

"Angry bird? There's some bird in the garden, do you need me to catch the angriest bird for you?"

Miyuki burst out laughing while Kitty gave him the 'you're a noob' face. Taken came in and collect the uneatened food, not very pleased that his food was not enjoyed. Poor Takan, those two girls were almost impossible to please. Since their arrival, they kept talking about strange things (there's actually a book with a face and a phone with an eye) and denouncing how rundown his residence was.

"Hey, Lao Ah Peh (old man)," Kitty commented. "That Makan (Malay language for eat) or Takan or whatever Kan, you better be careful of him. Not only is he an Ice Kacang (referring to the ichani here), he's an eunuch. Eunuchs can get very lonely."

"Eunuch?" Akkarin exclaimed.

Kitty shrugged. "Don't you barbaric people remove the, erm, down there of male servants? Because during the olden Chinese time ―"

"WHAT? WE ARE CIVILISED PEOPLE!"

Miyuki gave him the 'yeah whatever' look. Akkarin couldn't believe it. He knew that the slums thought lowly of the Magician's Guild, but not as low as such extreme extent.

How did they manage to kill 9 Ichanis so effortlessly? When Akkarin saw 9 dead Ichanis and the two girls panting for air, he knew that they killed the Ichanis. But how?

He decided to try his luck again.

"May I test your ―"

"Eh, Ah Curry. The Gill got kopitiam (hawker shop) or not?" Kitty interrupted. "Why is your breakfast is just some bread when you're so rich? You think you what? Monk? Ah Curry, give me your credit card, I want to buy some food from the kopitiam. "

At that moment, Takan came in carrying 3 cups of sumi. Miyuki and Kitty took a gulp and quickly spat everything out. The contents hit the High Lord, soaking his robes.

Urgh, I need to change my robes, Akkarin grimaced.

"Ew! What is this shit? Your pee, your saliva, your semen?" Kitty condemned the sumi. "I knew it! That ichani wants to poison us!"

"This is sumi." Akkarin lifted the cup proudly. "It's a luxury enjoyed by the rich and noble people."

"Su... Sum... Sumo? You think you can become a sumo wrestler after drinking it arh? No wonder you don't have a wife. Everyone is afraid that you'll flatten them in your sleep. Eh, do you still want to open a Guardian shop with us? If you go bankrupt, I will laugh till the whole Guild crumbles to the ground."

Akkarin was about to lecture them but Miyuki whispered something to kitty and both of then ran to the garden.

Kitty and Miyuki surveyed the Gardens carefully, hoping to catch a glimpse of Fergun again. "Hm, where is that furry gun? I want to hear his sissy voice again."