Disclaimer: I am very sorry for the Guy Fieri reference in the title this time.
She has managed to find me. I've never seen this girl in a long time, how is it that she called OUR business out of hundreds in Japan? God really loves her. I was sent because I was the only one available, seeing as everyone was busy doing nothing.
"Saiki?!"
This pretty woman is Teruhashi, she was the prettiest girl in our school. Though I know she's beautiful I can't really see the appeal. If I look at her too long all I could see is her flesh underneath her skin. Not very attractive now is she?
What is he doing here? He's a detective now?! Of course me as the prettiest and most popular woman I have to make sure he's comfortable! Because I am not only pretty on the outside I'm also pretty on this inside! Ok yes! I have to make sure this shy man doesn't leave again!
Her thoughts are usually like this, and I'm sure that if her mind had a mouth it would stop working from overuse.
"Do you want to come in Detective Kusuo?"
Why is she suddenly calling me Kusuo. Not that I mind, but her thoughts clearly called me Saiki.
Wow, I'm impressed. Her house is pretty big. Of course that's comparing it to my tiny apartment.
"Ok you can sit on the couch!"
The thing looked like it was washed or something. Not even a speck of dirt. The couch is white, so it's obvious they must clean it a lot.
I sat down on the pearly white couch and she started telling me what she hired me for.
"There's this stalker-"
Oh boy. I knew this would happen sooner or later. She can't be nice to everyone without having some drawbacks. This might be easy to solve.
"-who follows me everywhere... The man is always behind something if I turn around. It's very worrying!"
She's lucky that there's a law against that sort of nonsense. I helped with pushing that bill forward by the way, laws should be useful.
Is there any way that you could describe his appearance?
Of course Saiki, he's a huge creep who wears a baseball cap and a handkerchief around his mouth! He usually wears these dorky hippie glasses and really expensive looking clothes! I would go out with him except for the stalker part of it!
"I can tell you what he looks like! Ok first-"
No need.
"What?"
I have all the information already.
You did basically blab it to me already. Ok let's see...
Clairvoyance!
There he is, he's in her room right now.
"Why are your eyes like that Saiki?"
Ok now how do I tell her this without seeming too suspicious...
"How about we check the house?"
I could hear her heart jump so loudly it almost burst my hearing.
"O-ok!"
Saiki wants to see my house!! Ok ok, he's a working man now! Sure I'm single but that's because I can't share my kindness with everyone if I'm shacked up!
Where did you get that idea?
Ok Kokomi Teruhashi! It's time to show him that I'm not scared of some stalker! Though I have to deal with this from time to time, but these poor boys can't help it! I can't really blame them, but I do have my space! I'm so lucky to have picked Saiki as the detective today!!
Wow. Does she get headaches often? Because that amount of thoughts would implode anyone's mind.
"How about we go to my room first?"
Perfect. This way I don't have to check all of the rooms in this huge house for no reason.
Oh! I'm sorry Saiki! I'm sure by now you would get super embarrassed to be in a grown woman's room! So cute!
Of course, knowing Teruhashi she would have ulterior motives.
We walk through the door and sure enough, the culprit was right in her room.
"What?!"
His thoughts are also on overdrive, and they're also very vicious towards me.
Teruhashi is understandably shocked, seeing as its her own brother.
"Ah! Kokomi! This isn't what it looks like!"
You have her underwear on your face, what else would it look like. Besides that, what's with the hippie glasses.
"Brother! You're the stalker!!?"
Goddamn four eyes! Why are you even here!? I thought you left but you took advantage of the situation to get with my girl!!!!
What a perv. Well, at least I can't put him to jail for a bit anyways. Or she can put a restraining order on him.
"Ew.."
I never knew my perfect pretty woman charms would work on my own brother. Gross.
"Please don't look at me with those eyes Kokomi! I'm your dear brother! I would never hurt you!"
Those words have no credibility with her underwear on your head.
"I hate you brother! Get out of my room! And don't come near me for a whole month!!"
Wow. I never seen a person actually turn to dust like that. Teruhashi was very mad, I don't even want to hear her thoughts for what she's thinking about him.
So in the end she didn't put any charges on him. Not even a restraining order. At least I was paid for not doing much at all.
