Muse

Twenty ~ Dot

Dot |dat| noun; a small round mark or spot: a symbol depicted in colored dots. – New Oxford American Dictionary.

Chapter twenty; dot

Five days have passed since the incident with Jonathan and Lila. I don't bring it up and neither odes Ray. I suppose we've decided that it's best that we never do.

            Lila seems to feel better every day and I feel like part of that is due to Ray's never wavering friendship and loyalty.

            Speaking of Ray today is a pretty special day for him. Or...at least I think it's special. Ray doesn't get too excited over birthdays since our dad died.

            "Come on Ray just a small party?" I plead. He glares at me and takes a bite of the French toast, strawberries, and whipped cream mom and I made him for his birthday breakfast.

            "No, Lovely. It's not that big of a deal."

            "Yes. It really is. Come on, you're sixteen! Do something crazy." I grab his arm and shake it a little.

            "Can I invite Arthur?" He shoots at me with a matter of fact look and my stomach drops.

            I haven't seen Arthur in almost two weeks and it's killing me. But I can't see him. Not yet anyway.

            "You guys aren't even really friends I mean –"

            "Okay well in that case I'm not having a party. If you don't have to step out of your comfort zone neither do I." He shrugs.

            I sigh, knowing his right. Albeit annoying, he's right.

            "Are you at least going to invite some friends over?" I coax.

            He rolls his eyes and sets down his fork now that he's literally inhaled his breakfast.

            "Joey's probably going to come hang out." He shrugs. "And uh...Lila is going to come later tonight and we're going to watch a movie or something." He blushes, his eyes never in one place.

            I smirk and ruffle his hair. "A romantic movie?"

            "Shut up." He glares.

            I laugh and take his plate from him, bringing it to the sink and absentmindedly scrubbing the contents off into the sink.

            Over the past several days I've come to terms with the fact that although he hasn't confessed to it, Ray has a crush on Lila. And...there's a pretty big chance she feels the same way. Though it hurts my feelings that she doesn't feel like she can tell me.

            The two have been texting, calling, Face-Timing and hanging out nonstop for a while...even when her and Jonathan were dating they were really close.

            And – dare I say – even closer than she and I have been these days.  This makes me feel absolutely awful. Both for myself and for her.

            I've mentioned it to her once or twice and all she said was that the two of them have helped each other in ways that I just couldn't...no matter how much I wanted to.

            And while the fact that my brother and best friend seem to be linked at the hip bothers me, I can't help but feeling relieved and grateful that they got the attention they needed.

            But now there are moments where I'm just downright uncomfortable.

            "None of your business." He shoots back, his dark hair curling behind his ears; a clear sign that he's in need of a haircut.