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Chapter 18

Blair

    I was back to being Claire and as usual, I felt uncomfortable as I sat with her friends. They were all so loud and upbeat. They were all the exact opposites of me, which was why I remained silent. I knew I was a horrible actress, but I felt too uncomfortable to force myself to fit in.

    Sighing lightly, I found myself shifting closer to Ryder. He was like her friends, but he was also so different. So different in the way where he wasn't obnoxious like Jake, not filled with attitude like Tori, and not in everyone's business like Maya. Ryder was more open and sweet, and that was why I was willing to talk to him.

    "Hey, is everything okay?" Ryder asked, placing a hand on my head.

    I looked over at him and found my eyes softening. Ryder had a habit of touching Claire's head. It was random, but affectionate. I guess it was his way of expressing his feelings in a way that didn't scream them.

    "Yeah," I said quietly. "Sorry, I know I'm acting strange and all."

    "You're not," Ryder said, sounding honest. "It's okay to not be bubbly all the time. In fact, it's okay if you're always like this. There's nothing wrong with being quiet."

    Staring at Ryder, I found myself caught off guard by his words. As someone who hated the fact that I wasn't like Claire - all bubbly and upbeat - it was nice to hear that the way I was, was fine. It made my heart feel warm and to my surprise, I began to smile at Ryder. He smiled back and I found myself hoping that maybe, one day, I could be friends with him as my real self.

    "Claire, you're acting weird again," Tori suddenly said, ruining the moment. "Seriously, why are you so bipolar? Just yesterday you were back to your old self and now you're back to being weirdly quiet."

    I looked over at her and found myself growing tired of her. A part of me couldn't believe that Claire was best friends with Tori. Claire was a sweet person who made mistakes, but Tori was outright rude. She had no filter and was judgemental. That was why, I hated sitting at Claire's table.

    "Sorry," I said lamely, not knowing what else to say.

    "You know what," Jake suddenly said. "You're acting like your sister. Did you start hanging out with her again? Is that why you're acting so weird?"

    I couldn't help but blush from his words. Stunned from the way he called me weird, I stared at him, not knowing what to say.

    "Oh my god, you're right," Tori said, amazed. "Claire is acting like Blair. You're acting all closed off and distant. All antisocial and really, really weird."

     My cheeks reddened some more as Jake, Tori, and Maya laughed. It was embarrassing and I began to feel ashamed. I was closed off and I was quiet, but I didn't think I was weird. Their words were hurtful because of that.

    "Guys, you know that Blair is Claire's sister, right?," Ryder said, frowning. "Saying those things isn't cool."

    "Claire always makes fun of Blair," Tori said, rolling her eyes. "There's no problem here."

    My heart dropped at her words. I had to fight back a look of surprise as her words left me breathless. I couldn't believe it. My own sister made fun of me? It was true that you couldn't trust anyone.

    Hanging my head down, I found myself hurting as I thought about Claire making fun of me. I had always thought she was so sweet and innocent, but that was all a lie. Claire wasn't as nice as everyone thought she was, the truth was she was a bully like the rest of her friends.

    Getting up, I muttered about how I had to go to the washroom and ran off. None of them cared as I left and I was glad for that. After what they said, there was no way I'd ever spend another day with them.

    In fact, there was no way I'd ever talk to my sister again. I couldn't believe her. She was so fake, trying to become close with me again when she made fun of me behind my back. I hated her, I thought in that moment. She was the worst and suddenly, a plan made its way to my mind.

*****

    I sat on my bed, waiting for him to show up. My heart was pounding because it had been weeks since I had last seen Carter. It had been so long since I had been distracted and I began to realize how much I missed him and how he made me feel. I missed not having to think about everything wrong in my life.

Soon, there was a knock on my window and I got up and ran to it. Throwing it open, I smiled as Carter stepped in, looking disheveled. It seemed like he had ran to my house, which left me smiling as I knew he was the only person who actually cared about me.

"Hey," I said, walking to my bed and sitting on it.

Carter followed me to my bed and sat next to me. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to make it neater. I watched him, finding myself anticipating his lips on mine.

"Blair, why... Why haven't you called me over until now?" Carter asked, his eyes full of hurt.

Feeling guilty, I looked away. I had told Carter that I was busy with school, but we all knew that, that was an excuse. Because of that, I didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry," I said, shrugging. "Life is just hectic."

"It is, isn't it." Carter smiled, leaving me relieved.

That was what I really like about Carter. He was always so willing to forgive. He was always so understanding. Carter never made me feel bad about myself, which was why I wondered why I ever chose to ignore him.

Placing my hands on both sides of his cheeks, I pulled him to me and kissed him. He kissed me back immediately and I closed my eyes, letting myself get lost in the kiss. Like always, I found myself forgetting about the world.

I forgot about my fake sister who I wanted nothing to do with. I forgot about her cruel friends I hated. I even forgot about my parents who never cared about me. All I was thinking about was Carter and how he had always stuck by me, even though I hadn't given him any good reasons to.