Switch Up

Chapter 13

Claire

Usually, no one could bring me down. I was usually a very upbeat person who tried to stay positive, even when life threw obstacles in my way. But in senior year, that seemed to change as Carter and Blair left me hurting in a way I had never thought I could hurt.

    I usually didn't overthink much, but for some reason my mind was clouded with thoughts of Blair and Carter. Blair's words of how she didn't want us to return to how we were really hurt. They hurt more than I would ever have expected them to, and it didn't help that the guy I liked didn't seem to care about me. So sulking in English class as I watched Carter sit next to Blair, I decided to vent to Tori.

    "It's funny how the two people who hurt me sit next to each other," I said to Tori, huffing. "It's like they want me to suffer even more."

    "Blair and Carter?" Tori asked.

    "Yeah, I hate them both."

    That was a complete lie. If I hated them, I wouldn't be able to care less about them. But since I did care, I was left drowning in thoughts of them.

    "Blair too? Why her?" Tori asked, her eyebrows raising.

    "I asked her if we could try to be close again and she said no," I said, feeling my heart break once more at the thought. "Screw her."

    "Damn." Tori scoffed. "Honestly, just forget about both of them. There's no need to waste your time on people like them."

     If only it was that simple, I thought. The thing I hated about myself was that I got attached easily. I didn't know why, but there were a few people I truly cared about and those people had the ability to make me do unimaginable things. That was Blair and Carter, which left me admitting the truth.

    "I can't just forget about them," I confessed. "It's not the simple."

    "It can be that simple," Tori shot back, catching me off guard. "You just overcomplicate everything."

    "What..."

    "Seriously Claire, you're too emotional. Just stop chasing after the both of them. It's just depressing."

    Tori's words were harsh and I found myself shutting up. Looking away, I couldn't believe she said that. She didn't understand, but then I remembered how no one in my clique understood. They were all carefree and they never got attached. I had put up an act to join them, but the truth was I was nothing like them. I cared about everything much more than them.

*****

    I fell on top of my bed, feeling exhausted. After my talk with Tori, I felt like I was sick of people. I was sick of my crush, sick of my sister, and sick of my friends. Everyone seemed to let me down and all I wanted to do was disappear. I wanted to forget about everything and I groaned. Sometimes being able to feel everything so strongly sucked.

     Suddenly, I heard a knock on my door. Thinking it was my parents, I sat up and pretended everything was okay by smiling. But, that smile fell when I saw that it was Blair at the door.

    My eyes widened because I would never have expected Blair to approach me. That had never happened in years and staring at her, stunned, I wondered what she wanted. She looked excited, which left me confused.