Sabastian x Ciel

Sebastian x Ciel

Sabastian's pov.

Knock, knock, knock. "Come in." "Good afternoon Young Lord." "Hello Sebastian." I walk over to his desk and sit his tea next to a stack of papers he has layed out neatly onto his desk. "Sebastian?" Ciel had a very worried look on his face, I woner what he's thinking about. "Yes, Ciel?" "Nevermind. Would you run me a bath?" "Certainly, Young Lord." I bowed slightly and slowly walked out of the room. I wonder what he wants to tell me. I finally get to the bathroom and start my beautiful Ciel's bath. I make it to perfection with bubbles and a scent of jasmine. (Ciel's favorite, of course.) Ciel walks in and startles me a bit. I usually go get him. I bow and say "Master your bath is ready." "Thankyou." I walk over to him and start to unbutton his shirt. SMACK! "Ciel?" "umm, Sorry but I don't want you to undress me today." "That's fine Master, but this is the fourth day you havn't let me undress you. Are you ok?" "It's just embaressing, I'm to old to have you be undressing me." "I understand." I bow and walk out of the room.

Ciel's pov.

I began to undress and walk infront of the mirror. I can't help but look at the disgusting figure that is me. I reach under the sink and pull out my razor. I scan it and memorize it's cold feel, and I can't help but to enjoy the rush I get right before I bring the steel to my abdomen and press down. I flinch a bit but I continue. Tears began to form in my eyes a sI watch the blood began to fall. I hate seeing myself so week but at the same time I want it. I know I deserve the pain. I know it was a big mistake to do start this. Sebastian is a demon. But that demon is the reason I have to do this. I know he will never want me. I'm fat, ugly, demanding, and a general waste of space. How could he ever love me? You may wonder how this all started. Well I'll tell you. I had to get my routine check up and at first I noticed how I've gained some wait. Than my doctor told me I have no muscle strength. He said I was looking pail and unruley. I have had insecurities but when I herd him say this my mind went on overload. I couldn't help but think of every single flaw that I have. In the moment all I wanted was release. So that was the first time I refused to have Sebastian bathe me. I took Mey rin's razor that I found and I broke it. I used the blade for the first time to cut on my left thigh. But once wasn't enough. I couldn't stop. Next thing I knew the water was red, and I was crying. After that I havn't been able to properly breath again. I'm so lost and I can't stop. I only eat little portions and I quit the desserts. Anytime I eat is because of when Sebastian feels the need to watch me. But I tend to get rid of the horrible substances that are trying to ruin me. I know Sebastian is wondering whats wrong with me, and I pray he never figures it out. If he does I think I may actually kill my self from all the humiliation.