If I Fell

Parking Lots

As tempting as the offer is, I decide against it. Other than being a little tired, once those three vacated the room I felt much better. Angela looked unsure, but settled down once we began walking towards the only class that we share.

Thankfully it's an elective. Art, actually. Something to calm me even more.

The room doesn't have any chairs, just stools and easels facing towards a desk in the front. The teacher for this class is an older man who happily introduces himself and insists that I call him by his first name, Robert. He signs my slip then points me towards the supply closet where he says I can find an unused drawing pad. I choose one while Angela picks hers up from the back of the classroom.

I follow her to some stools near the windows. The blinds are up, but the light coming through is gray and muted. I already miss the sun. I try to find a comfortable position where most of my ass won't hang off of the small seat with no success. Angela giggles at my efforts.

"Hey, about earlier," she speaks soberly, turning herself towards me. Robert does not seem to be strict about the noise level. Most of the others students also sit in small clusters and talk about their weekends.

"What was it that triggered you?"

"Huh?" I ask, confused

"I'm sorry. Mom told me about what happened the other day when you registered for school, and from what she said it sounded like you were experiencing an anxiety attack. After today, I think she may have been right."

I hadn't given any thought to how my "reaction" would be perceived by them, nor was I expecting Mrs. Weber to talk about it to anyone.

"It can get easier for some people after they identify their causes or triggers."

"I don't have a history of anything like that though," other than these two occurrences. It isn't lost on me what they're both connected to.

She looks about ready to launch into an explanation when Robert shuffles over and begins explaining the assignments that I need to catch up on. After that the focus turns more to our work than conversation, but what she said sticks with me in the back of my mind.

The day is finally over and I'm relieved. I walk out to the parking lot, trying to remember where Angela parked this morning. I spot her car and head towards it. It's not until I'm in the row that I see who is parked beside her. It figures that of all the spots to park in this morning, Ben saved the one beside the source of my apparent "anxiety".

It's only two of them this time, just standing there. Blondie is leaning on the roof of the car and Rusty is propped up against the driver's side. They must be waiting for the little one.

I'm in no hurry to move any closer to them. Earlier I didn't feel "it" until I got within a few feet of them. I don't feel anything right now, but I know that once I walk over there it'll hit me like a ton of bricks in the face. I'm just considering going back in the school to wait for Angela when Rusty's eyes land on me. He smiles, like he's just heard something funny, and I see his lips move. Blondie twists his head to the side, not enough for me to see his face but enough for me to know that he knows I'm here.

I opt to stay exactly where I am and shoot Angela a text. As soon as I press send, a fat raindrop splatters on the screen. It only takes a few moments for countless others to join it, soaking my person and dampening my mood.

And here I was thinking that my botched twist out from this morning could not get any worse.

The rain is falling heavily enough that it weighs down my hair, causing a few poorly defined tendrils to droop into my line of view. The shouts of students and slamming car doors ring throughout the parking lot. Rusty slips into the car but Blondie lingers.

My phone rings and I pick up. Angela's hurried breath.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I left my camera in the paper's office and have to run back to get it. It's going to take a few minutes. Are you already in the parking lot?" Angela's hurried breath puffs into the receiver.

"Yeah," I say, considering whether or not I should go inside to wait when she voices it for me.

"Why don't you wait inside for me by the main entrance?"

I agree to meet her inside then hang up. When I turn around, the little sprite-like girl is approaching from the exit where I am to meet Angela. I'd like to move away, run towards the school leaving a wide berth between us, but my pride won't stand for it. I've already run from these people once. Maybe now that I've felt it twice, I won't react as strongly. Angela's comment about identifying causes pops into my head. I know damn well what the cause is, though I don't quite understand it or why the effect is so intense.

I preemptively slow my breaths and start walking towards the building. Our paths will take us within a few feet of each other, and I try to prepare for it. I stare straight ahead, trying to ignore the hair dripping into my eyes and focus on reaching that door. The feeling worms its way into my senses once again.

It's an emptiness, a void. And colorless. Why colorless?

Once we get closer, I see her tip her umbrella back and face me. For a moment, I'm dazed. I didn't much see her face before, but up close she is the same sort of beautiful as the man I ran into outside the office. I've never been one to find pale attractive, but her skin reminds me of the translucent crystals Devyn keeps in her bed room window. When I was younger, she told me they're charged by moonlight. I only half believed her until I stayed up late enough one night and saw their bright pallor for myself.

"You're Mika, right? Hi, I'm Alice Cullen. How was your first day here in Forks High? Oh no, you're soaked. Here, take my umbrella," she says her mouth moving more than a mile a minute. She pushes her umbrella at me.

"I'm fine," I murmur, not trusting myself to speak much louder. I don't change my pace, so I only see her face drop for a moment before I pass her. Her offer made no since anyways. Like she said, I'm already soaked. It wouldn't do either of us any good, and would only have resulted in the both of us being wet and me having to track her down tomorrow to return the umbrella. Hopefully Angela will have one that we can share.

I'm almost to the exit when I realize that the panic never hit. Yes, I could feel the pit open up as soon as she got within range, but I didn't get anxious. Once I reach the doors and am dripping puddles onto the rubber mat of the entry way, I look back out into the parking lot. I watch as Rusty slides out of the drivers seat out and quickly opens the door for his pixie girl. I'm too far away to tell, but it feels as if blondie is staring in the direction of this entrance. He disappears into the car before I can decide to confirm or deny it.

My phone rings and Angela's name is on the screen again.

"I am so sorry, but I'm going to be here a bit longer than I expected. Do you want to just come to the office so you don't have to wait alone?" she asks and I can hear what sounds like a printer erratically spitting out pages in the background.

"Yeah. What's room are you in?"

"The clubs' office in is in the building behind the main office."

'Well shit then' is all I can think as I hang up. Maybe I should have accepted that umbrella from her. I begin walking through the building, my thoughts drawing back to the odd occurrence.