Scarlett, dating the dreamer

Letter No. 1

May, 3. 2018

Dear Axel,

I know you're wondering where I am... or you probably have forgotten about me already. Maybe you've moved on already but I can't blame you, it's been a year already, hasn't it? The only three words I can tell you right now are I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that I've been so selfish, that I left, but I had to. You know, I had a crisis with myself. You wouldn't understand me. Tristan didn't understand me, and my parents sure as hell didn't. What did you expect me to do? Just live with this unhappiness that's eating me alive. It tore me apart, so slowly but oh so painfully. I couldn't believe that I was so delusional before, and I'm so fucking sorry I hadn't told you about this. I know you would've had helped me back then. But I wasn't at the right state of mind. I was young and stupid. I'm still young, I mean, come on, it's just been a year. So, anyways. How are you doing? Did engineering make you want to jump off a cliff already? I bet the math in your course is killing you. But who am I kidding? You love challenges, you love math, you love school.  I have huge news for you, and I know you'll be blown away or probably won't believe me in the first place. It's something I can't tell you here, maybe someday when we meet (I hope soon), I'll tell you everything about it.  Oh god, I miss talking to you. I miss you so much. I regret leaving you, but I don't regret that I've become the person I am now. If I didn't leave, I would still be the brainless brunette trying to figure out her life, just smiling all my life away and making people happy except me. I painted smiles on everyone's face, but forgot to paint one on mine. I'm struggling with all the studying right now. Can you believe it? Me, Scarlett Clarksson, studying? And that without any pressure! I'm amazed at how I didn't give up already, because this is so fucking boring. How did you spend all your high school life just studying and dating me? God, you had an awful teenage life, but well, it was still something, wasn't it?

I really hope you'll get my letter. I changed my phone and deleted all my social medias, it really broke my heart doing so. But I have an Instagram blog about my fashion, and yes, my fashion website is still pretty much active. I have many positive reviews and even a Fashion Magazine asked me to do an interview with them. I said no, they weren't well-known, so... Go big or go home, right? That's what we always said back then. I have to go. I have classes and I'm very stressed, midterms are soon and I need to pass. I sound so different, isn't this exciting?

Love, your dear Scarlett

*****

Hello :)

So, this is the first part. Don't get confused, this is just a letter from the present. I bet ya'll confused. Well, keep reading!!!

This book is supposed to be like... as if someone is telling you a story. I dont really knooww how to explain it? You'll just understand.

Also, i'm a girl writing from a guy's pov. It's kind of hard to make him not female-like at all. Gosh, im trying! Dont judge! jk hahaha, goddamnit.

Anyways, make sure to comment and make the star turn orange!

Xoxo