↠ beautiful ↞ p.j.m.

ten

i left the house after informing jimin that i would be out with yoongi. at first he was worried that something would happen. but i reassured them that everything would be fine. 

"are you sure?" he asked worriedly. "we're at a public space. he won't dare to do anything to me." i reassured him. "but what if he-" "jimin." i said firmly. 

he let out a sigh. "fine." i smiled and proceed to put on my shoes. "but if anything goes wrong, call me!" i nodded and with that, i made my way to the park. 

it was 10:30am by the time i arrived. of course i didn't expect yoongi to be sitting at our usual spot, waiting for me. there's no doubt that he would be late. i have always been the one who's waiting for him. 

half an hour has passed. since it was in the morning, it was quite cold. i prayed to myself hoping that he would come sooner. 

after waiting for a few more minutes, he finally came. he sat next to me. "why are we here? it's cold and i'm tired." he complained. i looked at him.

"well. what's your reason for asking me to come over?" i asked, changing the topic. "i don't know why i did that either." he mumbled. he's lying. 

"yoongi.. you can't lie to me." i said. and he looked at me. "fine. i just needed you to help me with my music." that was the main reason why i always head over to his house; to write music. 

"why did you call me out? aren't you cold?" his voice shaking a bit. he don't do well in the cold. i sighed, smoke forming in the air. 

"do you still love me?" i finally asked, looking in his eyes. he just scoffed in response. "did you seriously call me out of that stupid question?" i nodded. 

"answer me honestly. yoongi-sshi." his eyes widened at how i addressed him. he gulped. "what did you just call m-me?" he stuttered. "yoongi-sshi." i repeated myself. he shook his head. "you can't break up with me jihye-ah." he said, grabbing onto my shoulder tightly. 

"why can't i? we both know this is not working out anymore." i smiled sadly. "look. i'm sorry okay? i'm sorry for hitting you and all that shit. i just couldn't control myself. you too, know that i'm struggling with anxiety and depression." he quickly said, holding onto my right hand tightly.

i flinched at how cold his hands are. it was nothing compared to jimin's hands. jimin's hands were warmer.. and it gave me a sense of security. 

"but that doesn't give you a reason to hit me, yoongi." i said, looking into his eyes that were a bit teary by now. "i know. and i'm sorry. i really am jihye-ah. please give me another chance. i can't lose you." he pleaded. 

"i gave you many chances, yoongi. but all you did was beat me up with those second chances i gave you." i started tearing up, remembering how badly he beat me up once. 

then his expression became dark. "jihye. there's so many things i could do to you right now. but i couldn't." he said. "like what? beating me up?" i asked. only for him to grab onto my hands tightly. i bit my lower lip, trying not to give in to the pain. 

"but to top everything off, yoongi-ah. if you love me, why would you cheat on me? am i not good enough? i did everything for you, while all you did was do your music and hit me up!" i raised my voice. 

"i didn't cheat on you." he mumbled under his breath. "then explain those phone calls with a girl moaning your name." i paused, catching my breath. "do you know how many times i have caught you with that girl in public?" with that, tears started streaming down my cheeks. 

"y-you have seen me with h-her?" his eyes widened. "two times yoongi. two times." i said the truth. 

"do you know how much it hurts? and to say that i still love you." i laughed at myself pathetically. "but you don't even love me anymore." 

"who said i don't love you anymore?" he gritted his teeth. "your actions, yoongi. they were so obvious. who the fuck cheats and beats their girlfriend if they loved her?" i raised my voice. he just kept quiet. 

"exactly yoongi. you don't love me anymore." i felt my heart break at the words i just said. but it was better to hear it from myself than to hear it from someone you love. 

"yoongi, it's for the best. i hope you treat the girl just like how you treated me when we just started dating. and i hope it continues that way. please don't break another girl's heart." i grabbed his hands, giving him the warmth that he won't ever feel again. 

"maybe, just maybe. you will get to marry that girl just like how you wanted to marry me." i said. giving him a fake smile. 

"and after today, don't go around drinking, then hitting people up." i paused, looking at him in the eyes. "don't let me be worried of you." 

then i stood up. "it has been a good 2 years with you, yoongi-sshi. but we're done." with that, i walked away. 

but then he got up and hugged me tightly. "can you not leave me?" he asked, his voice cracking. "i love you." when those words left his mouth, i felt sparks in my stomach. but they weren't like the first time. it was different. he only said those because he wanted me to stay. 

"i loved you too."  i said, breaking free from his hug. i turned back to see him breaking down, which broke my heart. 

"goodbye yoongi-sshi." with that, i ran back to jimin's apartment as quick as possible. since it wasn't that far, i arrived back in no time. 

i opened the door harshly and slammed it. then i dropped to the floor, crying my eyes out. jimin must have heard sobs so he quickly rushed out of his bedroom, running over to me. 

"jihye-ah!" he called out, hugging me tightly. then he started bursting questions at me. "why are you crying? did he hurt you again?" i shook my head. "then why are you crying?" he asked and i shook my head again. signalling him that i didn't want to talk about it just yet. 

"it's okay. let it all out. everything will be fine later." with that, i cried and cried. until there were no more tears left. 

i looked up at him, feeling exhausted. "i-i b-broke up w-with him.." i said in between sobs. "i feel so bad jimin-ah.. i knew he had his own struggles but i- i just.. i just broke up with him.." 

"he told me that h-he loves me.. but t-they weren't the same a-anymore." i hiccuped. 

"is this how it feels like to break up with someone when you still love them?" i asked, looking at jimin, who was looking at me in pity. he slowly nodded. "yes. this is how it feels like." he replied, pain present in his tone. 

"love sucks jimin-ah. it really does." with that, i hugged him tighter. tears dropping down. 

it hurts everywhere. i shouldn't have left him.. 

without knowing, darkness engulfed me. 

-jimin's pov- 

i sighed and carried jihye in a bridal style, bringing her into my room. and then placing her on my bed. 

after crying for almost an hour, she was down with a fever. i called halmeoni and she gave us a day off. "tell her to take care of herself." she said. "okay." then i ended the call.

i grabbed a pail of water and a towel, then placed it on her forehead. 

even in her sleep, she was crying. i sighed to myself. "you don't know how much it hurts me to see you like this, jihye-ah.." i said, knowing that she wouldn't hear anything. 

"i'm sorry for leaving you, yoongi-ah.." even in her sleep, she's thinking of yoongi. i sighed even louder than before. how long is she gonna be like this? this can't carry on forever. it had to stop sooner or later. 

"i'm so sorry." she mumbled. "if you're sorry, then stop thinking about him.." i replied. 

"and then stop crying over him too." i whispered, caressing her hair gently. making sure to not wake her up. 

"it hurts me to see you like this.. but what hurts me even more is that..

you don't know how much i love you." 

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