↠ beautiful ↞ p.j.m.

one

it was a sunday. usually, i would be at yoongi's house by now. but he didn't want me to go over today. he said he was tired of seeing my pathetic pale face. basically he was tired of me. 

so here i am, in my room, trying to draw the pink hair boy. but it turned out looking as crappy as my life. i sighed to myself as i crumpled the piece of art in my hand and threw it behind me. 

i flinched when my mother yelled at me. "yah! have you got no respect for your mother?! throwing rubbish at her?!" i felt her walking towards me. i closed my eyes, knowing what was going to happen. 

she pulled my hair, making me stand. she turned me to face her, then gave me a tight slap. "i taught you how to be a respectful child! how dare you disrespect your mother huh?!" she screamed into my face. "it's not as if you've caught any respect for me." i mumbled under my breath.

"did you just talk back to your mother? did i fucking teach you that?! that's it." she stomped to my desk, and tore all my artworks that i worked so hard on. "why the fuck did i allow you to take art anyways? art is useless, so are you!" with that, she threw a piece of paper at me.

i closed my eyes and held my breath in, not wanting to burst into anger. the first time i did that, she slashed me with a knife. and that was the last time. 

"you better get out of this house and find a job. if you don't find a job, you can forget about coming back to this house." she spat on my face and went out of my room.

as soon as she went out of my room, i closed the door behind me gently, locking it. i looked around my room. it was a mess. all of my efforts have been put into waste. i fell to the ground and started crying. 

why is life so hard on me? when will i ever find happiness? 

after a few minutes of silently crying, i got tired. since she wanted me out of this house so badly, i will be gone in a few months. i chuckled to myself as i wore a grey hoodie along with a sweatpants, and went out of the house.

i walked around the town, avoiding contact with human, as i was trying to find a part-time job. i wasn't interested in food&beverages. i figured touching those dirty plates after they have eaten, made me vomit. it reminded me so much of my family. oh how much they would make the dishes dirty, just so i could wash it later on.

i stopped walking when i heard students exiting a store. "hey, that book is really good. i've read it. i'm so glad you bought it." books, huh? they weren't my thing, but working in a bookstore would be great. it would be so peaceful inside.

i smiled to myself as i looked up and saw a bookstore in front of me. then, i saw a poster on the door. it says, 'hiring for a part-timer! preferably a 16-20 year old' great. i wiped the smile off my face and walked in with a straight face.

i walked to the cashier, to talk to the owner of the store. but all i see was a boy with pink hair. it all seems so familiar.. 

"erm, excuse me." then the boy turned back to look at me. "are you the own-" "oh! you're the girl from the day before!" he cut me off. "m-me?" i pointed at myself. "yeah, you. remember me?" he's so familiar.. where did i see?

"i gave you my umbrella." he smiled. what a cute smile.. i wish i could smile like that. i looked away from him. "i remember, yeah." i mumbled. "what a small world." he said and i nodded. then i took a look at his face. he looks way better than my drawing..

"are you done admiring me?" he smirked. "huh?" "never mind. anyways, do you need my help?" he asked politely. i shook my head. "the thing is i saw the poster out there." i said, pointing to the door. "ahh.. that? you want to speak to the owner?" he asked and i nodded. "okay. i'll go ask her to come here." he smiled and went into a room.

i sighed to myself. 'i really want this job.' i thought as i looked around the bookstore. it's pleasingly beautiful. everything was so neat. i walked to the ends of the bookstore, to see a couple giggling by themselves while reading a book. 

what a cute couple. they better cherish it before their love is gone. just like what happened to me and yoongi. 

i sighed and went back to the front of the store.

"where is she?" i heard an old lady talking. "i swear she was here just no- oh! there she is!" the pink hair boy pointed at me. i quickened my pace to the counter and stood there, almost confidently. 

"are you the young lady who wanted to work here?" the old lady asked and i nodded with a small smile on my face. "aigoo. our jiminie is right, you're so pretty." she complimented me, as i quickly deny it. so the pink hair boy is called jiminie. "halmeoni.. how can you just say that?" he blushed. 

"by the way, how old are you?" the old lady asked. "i'm 17, turning 18 this year." i said and she nodded. "are you okay if you start working today?" she asked and i shook my head. "arraso. please follow me inside this room." she said as she made her way into the room that jiminie went to.

"here, wear this uniform. you're so slim, it's easy to find a size for you." the old lady said, passing me a uniform. i was about to go change when she grabbed onto my wrist. "nae?" i asked politely. but she didn't say anything, she just stared at me, looking up and down. 

then i heard a soft sigh from her. "d-do you not w-want me?" i was scared, okay. "no no. you're just really skinny. do you not eat at home?" she asked worriedly. what is eating? "ahh.. i do eat a lot, it's just that i don't gain weight." that was a lie. but being a gullible old woman, she believed me.

"ah! by the way, i cook lunch and dinner, if you're hungry after school or during work, you can come here and eat." she smiled. i felt a lump in my throat. how long has it been since someone cared for me? i nodded and hugged her tightly. 

"thank you b-boss." it was uncomfortable calling her boss, okay? "just call me halmeoni." she said, patting my back. it has been so long since i've hugged someone. i broke the hug and wiped my tears away, before she could see me crying. 

"thank you halmeoni. i will work hard." i smiled and went out of the room, to see the boy, jiminie(?) smiling at me. 

soon, it was time for the store to close. i sighed to myself. i don't wanna go home. should i just go sleep in the park today?

i changed out of my uniform and back to my grey hoodie. i was about to exit the store, when jiminie held me back. "hey! it's kinda late already. i figured that i should send you home." he smiled. why are you so kind. 

"no, it's okay. thanks." i quickly walked away. i didn't want him to see how wrecked my family is. "hey! how about about we go grab some supper before going back?" he suggested. sounds like a good idea. i wasn't planning on going home anyways.

i stopped walking, as he walked to me. "call?" "call." 

here we are, at the nearest 7 eleven, eating cup noodles in the cold winter. i was literally gulping down the noodles. i haven't eaten since yesterday. "woah. for a girl, you sure do have an appetite." he laughed as i finished the noodles. 

i looked at him shyly. "sorry. i'm just really hungry." i mumbled. "here. do you want to have mine?" he asked, but i shook my head. "no, it's okay. i'm not hungry." he smiled, passing me his cup noodles. i hesitated, but started eating. this time, slower.

"oh yeah! i forgot. i didn't catch your name." he said, and i looked at him. why does he want to know my name? i'm a nobody. "i mean you know my name right? i think i should know your name, you know?" he chuckled lowly. 

"erm.. i'm kim jihye." i mumbled under my breath. "you're jimin..ie?" i said awkwardly. he laughed. i hate it when people laugh at me. "ani. i'm park jimin. jiminie is my nickname for halmeoni." he explained and i nodded. then i resumed eating.

"anyways, why didn't you have an umbrella on that day?" he asked and i stopped eating. 

because there was no point having an umbrella with me. i was so use to the rain and my tears. they are literally best friends now. 

"i didn't know it was going to rain on that day." it was half true. he nodded. i feel so sorry but i have to lie. 

i can't let him get involve in my life. i can't. 

because i'll get too attached.

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