countless encounters || spencer reid

s i x t e e n // drunk

-

-

Violet feels terrible for having told him to leave. It had been terriby awkward when she had accompanied him to the door and watched him struggle to get his coat off of the hanger after trying to get into his shoes as quickly as he was able to manage.

As much as she wanted to shout 'No! Stay! My brain is being stupid!', she couldn't bring herself to say one word even when she tried to. He opened the door and looked back at her, mumbling a weak 'bye' even though there were so many more words lingering on his tongue.

Now, two days later, she hasn't heard a word from him since.

When he had left, she had collapsed on to the ground and cried for half an hour. Then she brushed her teeth and went to bed, abandoning the mugs and biscuits on her living room table. She had seen her phone screen light up in the complete darkness that had swallowed her room but she ignored it, deciding that it needed to wait.

The day after that she didn't call in sick at the café but just didn't go. She knew that was risky but she couldn't have cared less. She wrote the whole day and still couldn't bring herself to clean up the table in her living room, staring at the mugs whenever she lost her trail of thought.

She was so consumed in writing that she didn't even notice that her doorbell had rang twice and she still hadn't checked her phone that by now desperately needed to be charged. All she took in was the sound of her fingers making the different letters click as she quickly pressed down on them on her computer keyboard.

The day after that, today, she is forced to go to the door as the doorbell sounds yet again, this time at an ungodly hour in the morning.

She throws her hair in a bun as she walks down the stairs and opens the entrance door behind which stands a very inebriated Charlie, his hair messier than ever a bottle of beer in his hand. He engulfs her in a hug, a bit of the beer flying into the air.

"Charlie, it's four in the morning." Violet states and he lets go of her.

She would have to drive to work in two hours to get everything working and prepare the baked goods and clean the tables et cetera, well, hoping of course that she wouldn't be fired in advance.

Charlie was helped up the creaking stairs by Violet, who nearly tumbles down with him once, but they luckily make it to the top unharmed. She unlocks the door and Charlie heads straight for the couch after kicking off his shoes, putting the now nearly empty bottle onto the floor.

"Violet!" He calls, hoping she would join him in the living room.

She takes a moment to come to terms with the fact that she wouldn't be able to get more sleep and decides not to question why Charlie came to her place, he always did when he was drunk for some unknown reason to both of them- it was just sort of some sort of unspoken rule, considering that she would always end up on his threshold when she happened to feel the effects of having consumed alcohol as well. She quickly goes to her bedroom to connect her phone to the charger and then goes to join her curly-haired friend.

"'ell me how ya feel, will ya?" he slurrs as soon as she enters the room and Violet rubs her eyes, surpressing a yawn. She really didn't feel like thinking about her feelings now though she probably really should.

She stays silent, going over to where he lies on the couch, lifting up his legs to sit underneath them. Charlie takes it upon himself to speak up again, even more talkative than usual in his current state of mind, "I call'd ya a bunch o' times o'er the passsssst days and was 'ere ringin' ya bell yesterday as well."

"Is that so?" She questions, raising an eyebrow.

"Ya've been writin' again, hav'n't ya?" She nods. "How come ya never let anyone read it then?" He hiccups then giggles at the sound.

Violet shrugs. The truth is, she had finished three books already and it was her dream to publish one some day ever since she was about five years old, but she was afraid of showing anyone because she felt like she could improve, she told herself that she could and must do better with every page she wrote. With her journal it was different, there she just dotted down random thoughts, doodles and quick, messy sketches and most dear to her- her poetry that she would never ever show anyone deliberately.

"So how ya feelin'?" Charlie asks again and Violet sees no point in not answering again, he wouldn't remember anyways so why not tell him? She had two more hours to spare, she could talk to Charlie until he eventually fell asleep and then take a shower and get ready for work. She thinks she is in desperate need of a shower.

"Not so good." She winces, "Not good at all. Really bad, actually. I just feel like, it just feels as if there was a wave of negative emotions that has hit me out of nowhere and for no apparent reason and the weight of it on my chest and on my arms and on my legs and on my brain makes it harder to breathe and move and think and it feels like the next time it comes, I'm sure there is a next time, it will crush me.. I just," she shuddered, "I just wish it had hit me later, just anytime but now. It came in the worst possible moment. I kind of feel drunk as well, you know what I am like when I drink, I mean that's why I rarely drink."

She looks at Charlie in hopes of him saying anything, anything just so that she wouldn't have to continue, but, out of all times, he has drifted off to sleep now.

Violet sighs. She carefully escapes from under his legs and just stands there for a brief moment, her sock-clad feet on her silver, blue, brown Persian rug, not knowing what to do now. Her eyes meet the items still on the table and she decides that she has to clean them up, so she does. She quickly jumps in to a cold shower in order to feel a bit more awake, brushes her teeth with too little toothpaste and in circular motions, gets dressed in something casual, the T-shirt under her pullover sticking to her creamy skin and lets her hair air dry. Because she still has spare time, she prepares some pancake batter and leaves it in the fridge, writing a note and leaving it on the table to inform Charlie when he wakes up.

Then she goes to work and luckily enough, she isn't fired. Her boss liked her too much. However, Violet wasn't aware of that which is why the shop owner pretends that she wants to fire her, making her take over the shifts of one of her coworkers who would be absent the upcoming week for recompensation of her missing, which is fine with Violet.

When she had applied for the job it was supposed to be something temporary, but she loves working at the café and would probably continue to do so until there would be a better door opening itself up for her. But work-wise she is content. She is overqualified but that doesn't bother her all that much, she enjoys what she does nevertheless.

She spends the remnants of the day in the shop, wiping the tables, taking orders, standing behind the cash register, making coffee, occasionally munching on one of the baked goods she put aside for herself. When she throws over her jacket to leave, it is as dark outside as it had been when she left for the tram station earlier in the morning.

Even though she tried not to think about him, Spencer swarmed her thoughts the entire day.

What should she do?

She wouldn't be able to bring up the courage to text him or call him, no matter how much she wants to, she knows it. But she also couldn't wait for him to eventually do it. But would he?

Thinking back to the kiss they had shared, she regrets everything that happened after. She liked the kiss very much, loved it. When she saw the look on Spencer's face after she had told him to leave, it felt as if her heart wanted to jump out of her mouth. His cheeks had been so red, she doesn't think she has ever since a red so deep on any human's skin. It was even darker than her favourite pair of converse that were sort of wine-coloured.

All she hopes for now is to see him again and that he thinks about her, too.

But she couldn't be sure now, could she?

A / N

sadly I won't be able to update in the next two weeks seeing as I won't have any internet connection but I'll try my best to write as much as I can in that span of time, so stay tuned for updates!