Confliction ; Joetrick

seven; of happy holidays and ignorance

It was all Patrick could think about.

What if they had kissed?

Admittedly, he wanted the kiss. He did. And there would have been so many consequences, good and bad, but he wondered if any of those were as bad as this one. Sure, he didn't have the weight of the guilt that he kissed someone that wasn't his wife, but he still had the guilt that he was so close to. And now, Joe was the one ignoring him, switching the roles, which he certainly wouldn't have done if they had kissed. He would be flirting more than ever -- which was saying something -- and Patrick would ignore him as per usual.

But now? Patrick had texted him several times and even called him once, but it was all ignored. And he was getting concerned.

He knew Joe was ignoring him because of that near-kiss, but he still felt like there was another element to it. Patrick knew he was getting clingy, but he was in no state of stopping anytime soon. He did, of course, try to stop himself, managing to put the phone down once or twice after picking it up to call Joe and ask about him. That plan usually failed anyway, because Patrick nearly always called after the third consideration.

He felt a lot like those crazy, stalker-like girlfriends you hear about, and maybe he was one. He was Joe's crazy, stalker-like girlfriend.

It got worse when Elisa started getting annoyed by it. He'd cling onto his phone like it was a life source, just in case Joe ever did decide to ring back, and she didn't like it one bit. It wasn't until a week after the gathering, when Elisa spoke up about it; on Christmas Day.

"Patrick!" She was sitting cross-legged on the floor, beside the Christmas tree, with Declan in her lap, across from Patrick, who had his phone in his hand. And she had just about had enough of it. "Leave the phone alone! Christmas means family time, whoever it is can call another time."

He sighed, begrudgingly placing the phone down on the ground beside him as he watched Declan open a gift. The look of delight on his son's face as he ripped the paper off his gift, which turned out to be a firetruck, momentarily distracted him because damn, he loved his family. He didn't need some lonely man to take him away from this.

Unfortunately, that only reminded him that Joe was going to be alone with his daughter this Christmas, and Patrick suddenly felt bad. Joe barely had a family. He had no idea about extended family, but he wondered for a moment if that made him count as family. Were they technically dating?

He shook his head. He had to stop thinking like this. Realistically, it was never going to stop, but he really shouldn't think about it in times like this.

He'd really have to get used to this whole affair thing, because if he couldn't stay away from Joe, he'd have to deal with the paranoid thoughts every time he dared even think of Joe.

"Patrick?" Elisa shook his arm gently, snapping him out of his train of thought. "I said it was your turn to open your gifts." She paused as she handed him the two carefully wrapped boxes, then she looked into his eyes, concerned. "You've been very out of it lately, did something happen at work or something?"

Or I've been cheating on you.

But nobody in their right mind would just say that. "Or something. It's nothing, I'll get over it." He pressed a quick kiss on her cheek, before pulling a smile as he picked up the gift from Declan, completely oblivious to Elisa's suspicion. She had the feeling there was something more to it, but she wouldn't question it.

Later on in the day, while Elisa was busy bathing Declan before their Christmas lunch, Patrick tried again. He picked up his phone, a little crestfallen that he hadn't gotten any messages or missed calls since he had left it, and he sighed before calling Joe. Again. You know, just to make sure he hadn't died or anything. He was just worried, that was all.

He wasn't even surprised when he was sent to voicemail, as he had done many times before, but this time he decided he'd actually leave a message instead of just hanging up and dropping his phone in defeat.

"Hey, Joe," He started after the tone went off, "I just called-- this time, I just called--" He chuckled nervously, wiping his free hand on the inside of his pocket, "To say Merry Christmas. And New Year's, I guess."

He could still wish the guy a happy holiday even if he was being ignored. Patrick liked to think he wasn't that bad of a person.

It definitely came as a surprise when, a mere five minutes later, his phone started buzzing. He dropped the pillows in his arms (because real men make the bed) and ran to the drawers which his phone sat upon. And he grinned, because the name displayed read, "Joe". He took a deep breath before answering.

"Hey," He tried to say it as casually as he could, as if he hadn't called every day for the past week. "What's up?"

"I got your voicemail." Joe said rather quietly, which worried Patrick. It was as if he was reluctant to call. "And your calls." The pair faked a small laugh, because it was supposed to be funny, but it really wasn't. "Happy holidays to you too."

Patrick wanted to melt. "Yeah. Are you alright over there? You know, since it's just you two for Christmas." He hoped he didn't sound rude, since Joe stayed silent for a few moments.

"Dude," Joe was still quiet; he was still not eager to talk to Patrick. Which kinda hurt, but whatever. "I'm Jewish. I don't really celebrate Christmas."

Well. Now Patrick felt a bit stupid.

"Oh?" He coughed, unsure what to say, but he still wanted to keep up a conversation. He'd waited all week for this call. "And how's your daughter-- Ruby, right?"

"Yeah, she's fine-- look, I have to go..." Joe rushed out his words, and Patrick barely got to say goodbye properly before he had hung up on him. It confirmed that Joe was definitely purposely ignoring him, but instead of accepting it, Patrick only wanted to discover why.

It was obvious why, but Patrick wanted word from Joe himself. He wouldn't even try to call again, because that was easy to ignore -- as Joe had proved for the past week -- but instead he'd have to talk to Joe face to face.

He was clingy, but he wasn't clingy enough to go to Joe's house, so he'd have to wait until after New Year's; he'd talk to Joe at the daycare.

And, on Declan's first day back from the holidays, he brought him to the daycare, despite Declan's protests -- because what sane kid wants to go back to school after holiday? However he barely even focussed on his son, more focussed on finding a particular person.

And when said particular person walked in, he did not look happy to see Patrick, to say the least. Although, the most blatant expression on Joe's face, apart from the clear frown, was tiredness.

Patrick barely noticed that he was staring, until Joe was about to leave, when he realised he forgot to approach the guy. He ran towards Joe, who, he noticed, started walking faster to get away from him quicker.

Luckily, to Patrick's gain, he made it to the gate before Joe did, blocking his way out.

And that's how he ended up staring at Joe in the face, neither of them saying a word. Patrick could've kissed him if Joe didn't look so grumpy.

"Hey, Joe." He meekly smiled, breaking the awkward silence between them.

Joe sighed, eventually understanding that Patrick wasn't going to budge until he spoke. "What do you want?"

"We really need to talk," He gestured between them as he continued, "About this."

Joe sighed again, rubbing his forehead. "Fine. But not here. People can overhear us here." He recognised some of Elisa's friends from the gathering, including Meagan, who, he was pretty sure, was looking at them both with a frown.

Patrick nodded, and let Joe grab him by the arm and drag him away from the daycare, oblivious to the person who had just seen them leave together, and whose suspicion was also growing.