Erin was pouting and she didn't care. Hank kept glancing at her from his seat behind the wheel. "You gonna pout like a toddler the whole way back?"
"Yes."
He shook his head. "You're being ridiculous."
"Why? Because I care?"
"No because you know damn well you have no time in your life for a puppy."They'd just taken down a money laundering ring and when they'd searched the house they found a chocolate Rottweiler puppy chained in the basement. It was clear the poor thing had been mistreated. It had growled and whined warning everyone off but when Erin finally got close it had climbed into her lap and licked her face. She fell in love. She had wanted to take it to the vet herself and then take it home. Hank had put an end to that plan fast.
"But Hank."She whined.
"I told you, you want to play house by all means but you can't do that in this unit."
"It's not playing house Hank. It's a dog."
"Yeah and a dog needs attention and walks and care. You gonna bail in the middle of an all night stake out because that puppy needs to pee?"
"They're going to kill it." She barked at him. She couldn't believe Hank was being so heartless.
"Erin. Your being dramatic. I called Animal control. They took it to the shelter, they will get it cleaned up. It's cute, it's young. They'll find a good home for it."
"You don't know that. The shelters are over crowded and underfunded. They put animals down if they can't place them fast. And he's got injuries and a clipped ear. Who knows what that bastard did to him. You think someone else is gonna know how to love him right?" Erin could feel tears welling up in her eyes. She didn't know what had over come her. She only knew that she felt a connection to that damn dog, like they somehow understood each other.
"Erin," Hank cautioned. "What would you do with him all day?"
"He could come to the district." Hank cut her a sideways look. "We could get him a bed and food and he could stay in the roll up while we work. I'd take him out for a walk on a break. Take him home with me at night. He'll be a big dog. I'll have him trained. You're always worried about my safety. I'd be safer with a big dog like that." She bargained.
"Erin it's a police station not puppy daycare. I seriously doubt higher ups would approve."
"They wouldn't even question it if you and Platt okayed it." Erin shot back.
"That's not going to happen. I'm not gonna have a dog running around my district." Erin crossed her arms over her chest and went back to pouting out the window. It just wasn't fair.
"What good am I if I can't even save a damn dog?" She mumbled under her breath. She'd no idea Hank had actually heard that last remark.
When they got back to the district Erin jumped from the escalade and walked directly to her car. She heard Hank call after her but ignored him. He didn't deserve a good bye and fuck the paper work, it would still be there in the morning. It was late. She was tired. She was going home.
She drove in silence and was lucky enough to find parking near the door of her apartment building. Her feet felt like cement blocks as she trudged up the stairs, a picture of the puppy's sad eyes as animal control had loaded it into their truck stuck in her head. She unlocked her door and entered, kicking off her boots and letting her go bag drop to the hall floor. She sulked down the hallway. A beer, that's what she needed. Fuck, really Erin? A beer? Over a stupid dog? She scolded herself.
As she came into her living room she was startled to see Jay perched casually on the arm of her couch, beer in hand waiting for her. "Hey, I had Antonio drop me here, you looked kinda upset when you left I thought...."
Jay didn't have a chance to finish his sentence. Erin flung herself at him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, burying her face in his neck. Jay grabbed at the couch to steady himself, the force she'd hit him with causing him to loose balance on the arm of the couch. Once righted he put his beer on the floor and wrapped his arms around her.
"What's wrong?" He cooed softly into her hair.
"It's nothing, it's stupid," she said lifting her head and swiping tears away. "Forget it, Hank's right. I'm just being ridiculous." She said and went to move away but Jay held her in place between his legs.
"Is it that puppy?" He asked. Erin shrugged. Jay smiled and ran his fingers down her cheek. He let out a little laugh "since when do you get emotional over animals?" Jay asked, bewildered.
Erin didn't like being made fun of. She pushed hard against Jay's chest to release herself from his hold. "Forget it," she said.
Jay cursed. "Erin, Erin," he gently grabbed her arm. "Hey, I'm sorry. come here. Talk to me." She stared at his hand for a moment then looked up at his face. He was being sincere.
"I don't need to be made fun of. I already heard enough from Hank."
"I know. I'm sorry." he tugged her closer and she relented, stepping back between his legs.
"It's just, he has no one, you know? He comes into this world and all he gets is shit. I don't know I just.... I just felt bad for him. I kinda know what that feels like," she said dipping her head. "He was so little and scared."
"Not of you. He climbed right up into your lap."
"Yeah. It's stupid. Hank's right, I have no business with a dog, fuck I barely manage to take care of myself and look what happened the last time I tried to care for someone else." Erin felt the familiar ache as her thoughts turned to Nadia. "They took him to the shelter. They'll find him a good home and if not, well at least he won't have to bare any more of life's unfairness. Maybe it's for the best."
"Erin!" Jay exclaimed, shocked at the sudden cavalier attitude. "You don't mean that."
She shrugged. "It's been a long day I'm pretty tired." she replied avoiding his question and ending the discussion. She didn't want to think about the pathetic dog anymore. He reminded her too much of all the shit life had handed her. She didn't want to think about his sad eyes trusting her to help him. It was better this way, she couldn't let him down after he'd gone and got attached to her.
Erin had a quick shower and crawled into bed. She heard Jay go in the bathroom and turn on the shower water. A few minutes later the bed dipped and his warm body curled around hers, spooning her. He kissed her temple. "I'm sorry you had a crappy night," he whispered. Erin laced her fingers through his and pressed their hands against her chest.
"Yeah, me too," she sighed. Jay settled behind her and they drifted to sleep. Erin's dreams were haunted by sad puppy dog eyes.
