Ink Flowers

Art

A/N : lol short chapters and also updated a few days law bUT AT LEAST I UPDATED - BTS coming right up
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The day after that, Caspar found himself in a room with Tyler, who refused to talk to him, and with a girl he didn't quite like anymore.

Hey, you can have an epiphany and still have awful feelings and emotions you can't control. Knowing better doesn't make you better, it just means that from now on, when your actions are wrong, you are guilty. Because you now know they're wrong. You now know.

And Caspar knew this girl wasn't bad or evil, but he couldn't shake off the idea of her body all over Joe's and oh God, he hoped Mikey was wrong.

Hannah Hart stared at him from across the table, playing with a ring that was much too big for her, and Caspar wondered who it belonged to and if it was Joe's.

Tyler's voice broke the silence. "Why, exactly, are we here?"

Caspar tried to breathe, to calm himself down. But his stomach was turning up and down, and his heart had been beating much too hard since the moment he had asked a friend for Hannah's number, and it hadn't slowed down ever since he called her to meet him there.

But he couldn't do it alone, and Hannah and Tyler always did seem to be alike, so he thought Tyler wouldn't mind coming as emotional support.

He thought wrong.

Tyler was, apparently, 'really pissed you blew this up, when you know it was judgmental and evil and oh Caspar, why do you try so hard to be the bad guy?', so he refused to talk to him. And Caspar couldn't explain to him just how much he needed his friend right now, and just how much he couldn't bear to do this alone.

But he needed to.

He wasn't brave enough to speak up and make things easy, but he was brave enough to ask Hannah for advice.

She was a honorary punk, and she was nice, and Caspar had always liked her before Mikey's commentary, and she had a wise soul, you could just see that.

And he needed wise. He needed to know what to do next, because after Louise woke up and was no longer drunk as fuck, she still wanted him to work with her and Alfie wouldn't let him work with him anymore and this was too much for him, because he would be daring to get that world outside of the shower that he wanted, but it was also so much work and much too hard and Caspar wasn't sure it was such a good idea anymore.

He wasn't a hero, he was a coward. He wasn't brave enough to be a hero.

But maybe Hannah was, and maybe she'd help him do what's right, help him step up and stop being a villain.

Caspar sighed, because he had no idea what he was doing, or if it would work, and honestly it made no sense but he wanted it to work, he wanted someone who wasn't a punk but had constant contact with them to help him get rid of the idea he had built in his head about punks.

Maybe it was stupid and ridiculous and maybe he was making this harder than it needed to be, but he couldn't do it on his own or he would bail out and he was trying to do the right thing, goddamnit! Why was everyone JUST NOW so adamant on him not doing the right thing?

With shaky breath, Caspar spoke: "I wanted to ask Hannah something," he said, and God this was a bad idea, why had he done this? He should bail out, he should run again and pretend this had never happened and. Oh.

Oh.

Hannah's hand was on top of his, and she looked at him with her big blue eyes and Caspar now understood why Joe liked her so much.