Experiences with Rantings

Him...

Never would I have thought that
I,who has been hurt before,
Could hurt someone valuable....
I would've thought that I would be
The better person.
I trusted myself,
I trusted my feelings for him..
But why ?
Why?
Why did I have to be the one who had to
End something beautiful?
Ending my happiness
Just because of being caught....
He's not someone who I can easily leave like that.
But I went ahead and cut ties.
Thinking it was best to just stay friends.
I would feel so much anxiety,
Stress, but He was always there to
Comfort me...
In the end, I was the one who was going to be
hurt, no surprise there.
Is there any way to mend a rift between him and I ?
If there is, hopefully I won't mistakenly cause the same mistake again...
Even if there is a rift between him and I, will we be able to be the same as before?
Maybe not exactly the same, but at least we'd still be friends.
If it's okay with him, at least.
Just because I said I wanted a break, I didn't mean a break up.
But since it seemed the easiest way to lift away some stress...
I had to end ties.
I know he was hurt, it hurt me too.
I may say that I understand how he felt but I don't think I really did.
But one thing I know is that he was really hurt.
Ever since the breakup, I can't stand anyone being hurt.
I've tried being reasonable with him, but now he seems different.
Different then when I first met him..
It's times like this that I wonder if it was truly all my fault.
Why doesn't he hate me ?
He should hate me?
In the end, did I disappoint him?
To him, what we had was good while it lasted.
I didn't disappoint him.
He doesn't hate me, only because he's not that type of person.
He's loving, caring, understanding, good-hearted.
In the first place I never deserved him.
Distance is what's best for now...
Although it hurts not to be able to talk to him, it's best for now.
Once upon a time, he missed me too.
But that doesn't seem to be the case now...
If he's over me that's good, if he isn't is there a possibility of maybe getting back together.
I doubt it though, there's no point to it anymore.
All I hope is that he has happiness, especially without me.
Live Happily My Dear Friend ~