EreRi Oneshots and Drabble

I Wouldn't Mind

Okay, this is short, but I hope that you'll like it. Also, this is in Levi's POV.

Enjoy

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You're all I ever wanted, but she's the one you want.

You're all I ever wished for, but she's the one you're wishing for.

You're all I ever dreamed of having, but having her makes your dream come true.

It hurts. It fucking hurts. It fucking hurts to stay away from you when all I ever wanted is to be near you. It's hard to be nothing more than a friend, a companion, when all I ever wanted is to be your lover. It hurts to be nothing to you, when all I ever wanted is to be your everything.

It kills me to distance myself from you when what I want is to be beside you. I want to bare myself to you, let you see these feelings I kept deep within, to free myself from this cage where I prisoned myself in in fear, but how could I when she's the one you wanted? How would I do that when you always look at her with longing? When you look at her with eyes full of admiration, of affection?

I want you to hold me in your arms gently, as if I'm the most fragile thing to ever exist, but how would you do that if she's the one you've been wanting to hold for so long? I want to hold your hand, but how could I do that when the hand that you wanted to hold hands with is hers? I want to be the one you wake up to everyday, but how could I if she's the one you want to hold every night?

I want to be your everything, your stars and moon and sun, just like what you are to me. I want to be the reason that you live for, to be the reason behind your smiles, the reason for every beating of your heart. I want to be beside you, but how could I do that if she's the one you want to be with every step of the way, as you thread your way towards eternity?

It's tiring. It feels like I'm in an endless cycle, going on and on and on repetitively. I kept on chasing you, trying to make you mine, but every time I'm nearing you, every time you're just an inch away from me, from my grasp, from being mine, you'll slip away, getting farther and farther away, more than you ever did before.

It isn't surprising, that you chose to love her. I mean, who am I compared to her? She's all you could ever wish for. She could give you the future that you want, the family that you've been dreaming of. What could I offer compared to that? Nothing. For someone like me wouldn't ever be able to do what she can.

I'm tired of running, of chasing you. I'm tired of loving without feeling loved, tired of feeling hurt just because of it. I'm tired of hating myself for not being enough. I'm tired of loving you.

Still, I couldn't let it go. I couldn't stop loving you. It feels like loving you is the only thing that I can do, the only thing that I'm not failing at. Maybe I'm a fool for keeping this up, but I can't forget it and move on, no matter how many times I tried to.

I want to be selfish. I want to keep you all to myself, to prevent her from having you. Still, I know that I can't do that. I couldn't take you away from your happiness. I couldn't, I wouldn't, I shouldn't.

Even though I'm tired, I'll keep on chasing, keep on hoping, keep on loving. I wouldn't mind the pain, the sleepless nights spent on crying whenever I think of you with her, wanting her. I wouldn't mind the hurt you give me every time you talk about her to me, every time you're proving me that you loving me back is a far-fetched fantasy that wouldn't happen anywhere except in my mind. I wouldn't mind the hopelessness you make me feel whenever you talk about what future you want with her, because the future I want with you is far from reality.

I wouldn't mind the numbness I want to feel whenever you tell me 'I love her', because hearing 'I love you' coming out from your lips is just a hopeless dream.

I wouldn't mind seeing you with her even though it kills me because you can't be anything less than happy beside her.

I wouldn't mind all the pain loving you brought me. I wouldn't mind if I wasn't the reason that you live for, the reason behind your smile, the reason behind every beating of your heart. I wouldn't mind if I wasn't your everything, if I wasn't your stars, your moon and your sun.

I wouldn't mind if I wasn't the one you want to be with as you make your way towards eternity. I wouldn't mind it...

As long as I can see you smile, I'm fine with being nothing but a friend in your life.

Even if I wasn't the reason behind your smiles. Even if she's the reason behind every breath you take. I'm fine with that.

I wouldn't mind it, Eren. Do you know why?

It's because I love you.

Even though you don't feel the same way.

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I don't know if this is any good but thanks for reading!