As light consumes and darkness rises

Starting again?

I wonder why people are so fond of 'starting over' it takes so much energy. I left my home two days ago taking a bus from Grand Junction, Colorado to San Francisco, California. I am sitting at Denny's right now because I have lost count of how many times I have gotten lost in the past hour and a half, I had to call Granny Scott when I got to Denny's, so much for finding her house on my own and trying out my 'new' found independence in the big city, well at least bigger than where I came from. I shrug my shoulders at the thoughts running through my mind as they try to keep me occupied; seeing as my iPod died on the ride over and I lost the charger while packing up the cardboard boxes holding the last 4 years of my life in them.

I begin humming to the overhead radio playing 'stay with me' by Sam Smith, as It started to downpour. And when an electric blue Prius pulled up and flashed its lights, I assumed, it's signaling for me to come out. I slip on my red winter coat and pull the collar up so that it shields the back of my neck from the rain, holding the rest tight to my body I make a run for the car.

"Hello dear" I was greeted by the short white haired woman, my nose is flooded with the smell of very strong flower perfume and peppermint candies.

"Hey Granny, thanks for picking me up. I thought I could find your place on my own but I totally failed" I said ending with an awkward chuckle, hoping to continue the conversation with the old woman sitting across from me, only for her to nod and put the car into reverse, and pull out of the parking lot.

"It's okay dear, you will get used to it soon enough. And lucky for you, we live in the school district so you can ride the bus and avoid getting lost on your way there." that was the last thing said between us as we drove for about thirty minutes in comfortable silence before arriving at her house. With in those thirty minutes, my mind turns to the few memories I have of my mom when it takes a turn for the worst as I then think of my dad, wondering how he is doing, hoping that it doesn't affect things with Granny, seeing the hurt in her eye as we had dad, sign the custody papers. I know I hurt her by asking her to betray her son, but she is the only one I had to turn to. when I get out of the car I was met with a cute thin rectangle shaped two story house painted a light lavender purple.

"Your room is on the top floor. It may look like an attic but it was always meant to be a room, and since I have never had a need for it I used it as a storage. I cleaned it out since then but left you a dresser that I didn't even know I had." we laughed for a short moment. And when we get into the house granny Scott gives me a tour of it. Walking into the house you are met with an open living room with stairs leading to the second floor, and in the far right corner of the rectangle shaped house there is a door way leaving the kitchen wide open, looking used more than the rest of the house which is a comfort that I am not used to but gladly welcome. Breaking the silence I created while admiring her home. Granny placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Are you hungry sugar? Here, all your belongings are already in the room, the moving men dropped them off this morning. Now go get settled in while granny makes you something to eat," she said handing me the keys to my room as she starts to hum an old song - that I know but can never quite put my finger on - while disappearing into the kitchen.

So I do as she says and as I unlock the door my eyes are drawn to the walls, my new room is painted baby blue lighting up the room when sun rays stream in from the window on the back wall where my bed is all set up. to the left side of the door is a burnt caramel color antique dresser with a mirror hanging behind it, assuming it's the one granny was talking about earlier, I take a minute to inspect myself in it. In front of me stood a 5'6, straight black hair falling over my shoulders ending at my mid back, flat chested, under weight, brown eyed, girl. Nothing special, nothing outstandingly beautiful like my mom, just ordinary me. I never liked mirrors. It always seemed like they would show you everything you didn't like or want to see in yourself.