There's Faith In Love.

Baby, What If I Can't Forget You?

Michelle.

After I'd fed and changed Audrey, I bathed Keaton, Megan, Micah, Isaiah and Adam.

At this point, Madison insisted on bathing by herself.

"Your turn." I told her, drying Adam's hair.

"Okay."

"Mommy?" Adam asked.

"What's up jumping bean?" I asked.

"Where do babies come from, and why do you have so many?" He asked seriously.

I had to admit, I was ready for any question, from anyone at this point.

Any question except that one out of my son's mouth.

I sighed, "Baby, I don't think you're really old enough to know that yet." I said.

"But I wanna know. I love my brothers and sisters, but I miss it when it was just you, Madi, Tony and Me." He said.

I stared at him in the eye, "Adam, do you really miss Tony?" I asked.

He nodded, "He was really nice, and he loved you and Madi and me a lotta much." He said.

"Your daddy loves you alotta much too Adam." I said.

"I know, and I love daddy. But why won't you tell me?" He asked.

I stared at the floor, "Go get dressed Adam." I whispered.

He sighed and shuffled away.

I dropped my head into my hands, and quietly cried.

"Mommy, are you okay?" Isaiah asked.

I looked up and nodded, stretching my arms out to hug him.

He hugged me, "Don't cry mommy. I want you to be happy." He said.

"Baby, I want to be happy. It's just not that easy anymore." I whispered.

"I love you mommy." He said.

"I love you too Isaiah." I said.

The front door opened and Vic walked in, "Hey gang, I'm home." He called.

"Daddy!" The kids squealed, crowding around him.

Watching all of my kids, I thought about the fact that I'd carried and given birth to all eight of those little beating hearts, but the person that helped with five of those little hearts, their heart had stopped completely forever, because of me. And I wanted to cry again.

Vic looked up, "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter." I said getting up and walking to the kitchen.

"Michelle, babe, we're married, I'm supposed to help you, but I can't do that if you don't tell me what's going on." He said following me.

I sighed, "Our son just legitimately asked me where babies came from, and why we had so many of them, and then he told me that he missed it when it was just me, him, Tony, and Madison. Vic, I didn't know what to say. What do I say to that?"

He looked at me, "Adam said that?" He asked.

I nodded, "Yes. I tried to tell him that he wasn't old enough to know that yet, but he just wanted to know why Tony left and why I keep having babies. Vic, even my six year old son knows that's not right, and he still doesn't know any better." I said.

"Apparently, he knows better than we thought." Vic said sighing.

I looked outside, "I honestly don't know what to do anymore." I whispered.