We talked for about an hour after that. He told me about all those funny things he and the cast had done to Millie or Gaten. I was listening but mostly I was just watching his face. The way it lit up when I asked him what music he liked or if he had been on previous projects.
Over the hour I had given him the nickname finny, he seemed to enjoy it, and he kept calling me peach. He said I remind him of one because of how my cheeks colored when he would complement me, adding volume to my blonde hair. He had a way with words, it casted me, a boy so young like me, stupid. Something he was not was stupid.
I was so fucking stupid and I knew it. But he didn't. He had no clue what I had done.
Finn seemed pretty interested with my liking of Troye Sivan, and halfway through the call he reacted to the wild music video, the way he looked at the screen as his ears got blessed, watching the small boys in the video frolic around care free, before it reviles what happened when they got older.
His commentary during the video made me giggle, he had nothing to say when the dad got drunk though, which I didn't expect he would anyway.
But of course we had to start talking about what had happened to me before the call. I hid out some of the details because this boy didn't need to know how truly screwed up I am. He understood before his mom called him to go to the store.
When I ended the call reality came back to me,
I just lost the only friend I have because of a boy.
