Dearest Baba...

Dearest Baba...

Dearest Baba,

Assalam o Alaikum. I miss you, Baba. I miss you so, so much. There isn't a day on which I don't remember you. I missed you when you left me and I missed you when you came back.

I miss your smile, your laugh. I miss watching movies with you. I miss staying up late with you. I miss everything.

I ask myself. Why did it all have to end? Why couldn't we have remained the happy family we once were? Why did I have to witness Mama's eyes go dull? Why did I have to witness her cry herself to sleep on most nights?

But then I remember your words. This world is temporary and it all has to end eventually. Every single person has to leave one day. You have left. But you have left for the sake of our land. I know you are alive, even though I can't see you. All I have now are your memories.

You were my best friend. It was you who gave me the spirit to live each and every day to the fullest. It was you who taught me to cherish each moment. And I am glad that you did. Even if I don't have you with me, I can now cherish your memories that are a blessing in loneliness.

In third grade, you were the one to give me a high five after meeting my principal. I was in trouble for punching a boy. He had started it, but I had ended it.

In seventh grade, when I stepped onto the stage to deliver a speech, the size of the crowd terrified me, but it was your serene smile that helped me through.

It was you who taught me to play basketball, it was you who taught me to swim, it was you who taught me how to ride a horse, and it was you who always rescued me from Mama's wrath when she would come after me for teasing her.

You were my teacher. You were my friend. You were my guide. You were my partner in crime. You were my hero. You were my Baba.

I remember that all these years ago, I stood on the patio of our house. You kissed me on my forehead and said, "I'll be back soon. I promise."

I was sad, but being your daughter, I beamed at you. You gave a warm smile to Mama and left in a jeep.

You had left numerous times before and had always returned, so I wasn't much worried. Every time you came back, it felt like you brought sunshine with you. Mama's eyes would brighten up and a beautiful smile would grace her lips. Our hearts would fill with joy. This time too, we waited. I longed for your return and I know Mama did too.

We waited and waited. Your phone calls were a treasure for us and would refresh our souls.

A month passed and it was normal evening. Mama was sipping her tea as she read a book, while I was doing my homework. The door bell rang and I went to see who it was. It was your best friend . I was puzzled that he returned, but you didn't. His visit was quite out of the blue. His wife accompanied him and they both wore troubled looks on their faces.

They told Mama and I that you had departed forever and Mama just nodded. I could see her eyes getting moist as she held me. They left us alone as we cried into each other's shoulders.

After that it was all too confusing. People came and went. We went to our home town and chachu took care of your burial. People asked me if I was okay and I told them that I was. Mama's heart was shattered, but she was strong. She is the strongest person I know, Baba. We only had each other now.

I couldn't believe it. My father, who had left in a uniform returned wrapped in green and white. He had promised to return and he did. But not like how I imagined him to. He didn't hug me, nor did he kiss my forehead. He didn't give me his warm smile, nor did ruffle my hair.

You are a shaheed and you aren't gone. Allah has said that you are alive even if I can't see you.

Mama's eyes don't twinkle anymore and her smile never reaches her eyes. Her heart aches, but she is proud of you. She and I both believe you are a hero. You are not only our hero, but you are the nation's hero.

All the years ago, on this day you left us. On this day you closed your eyes forever.

I miss you, Baba and I will never, ever forget the way your eyes used to shine when you smiled. I will never, ever forget the way your lips would twitch whenever you tried to scold me. I will never, ever forget you.

In a few months time, I will join the Pakistan Airforce. Being your daughter, I also bleed green. You will never be there to give me your smile to make me strong and I will never hear your encouraging words again, but I know you are proud of your daughter.

I miss you and I will do anything, anything just to see you smile at me once again. I know my letters will never reach you and they will forever remain in the small cabinet beside my bed, but I can never stop writing to you. There was a time when you would patiently listen when I would to pour my heart out to you.

I wish I could go back in time just once. I wish I could bid you goodbye once more. I wish I could just hug you once more. I wish I could tell you that I love you once more.

We visited your last resting place today. You gave your life for our country on this day. Beautiful flowers grow on your grave and give off their sweet scent. Mama says it's because Allah loves and because you are a hero of this land. I'm sure she is right.

I miss you and love you with all my heart. You are the nation's hero and I am so proud of you, Baba.

With all my love,

Your daughter,

Yusra

GLOSSARY
☆Assalam o Alaikum: Peace be upon you. Greeting used by Muslims.
☆Allah: Muslims call God, Allah.
☆Shaheed: martyr
☆Chachu: paternal Uncle who is younger than one's father.
☆Wrapped in green and white: the flag of Pakistan is green and white. The coffin of martyrs is covered with the flag.
☆Bleed green: An expression to say one loves Pakistan. The flag is mostly green.
☆According to the holy book for Muslims the Quran, the people who martyred in the name of their nation are not to be called dead. They are alive, but humans can not perceive their lives.

The attached video is an emotional Pakistani song for the martyrs of my beloved land. It really is heart-touching. Even if you don't understand the song, the video is self explanatory and really will touch the deepest points of your hearts.

Thank you

writerinthedark-