In in so much pain...
I've done things I'm not proud of.
I've stolen. I've lied. I've cheated. I've been the worse friend ever.
But that's the issue. My biggest flaw is that I've got too big of a heart.
I give people second chances, then thirds, the fourth chances.
But I continuously think that they actually care about when they've done so many things to prove otherwise.
Whether it's accusing me of not caring. Or telling everyone that you don't have anyone that cares about you. When I give people more chances it always fucking backfiring on me. I put way too much trust in people who I know will make me feel like complete and utter shit because I try to "prove myself" to them, then they don't give a damn about me, and they never ask me how I'm doing, or if I had an okay day or an okay night, the only thing you care about is yourself.
I push people away because it's the only way I know how to.
What would anyone do if I just up and disappeared? If I severed all connections to everyone and went away? Hm? If I were to leave. I could pull a paper town and see if any cares enough to find me, whether or not anyone finds me in a ditch. Or whether or not I die tonight.
